Saint of Pizza Delivery

Arcane Lore Arch Lord

Main Event Winner!

Hall Of Fame!

Survival - 14 Wins!

Brutal - 4 Fatalities


Alignment: Hero

Team: Solo Hero


Strength: Standard

Agility: Standard

Mind: Standard

Body: Ultimate


Personal Wins: 14

Personal Losses: 3


The Apocalypse is hard work, you know. Souls to destroy, cities to raze and all that. Takes a while. Can't exactly pack some sandwiches and take them with you. This is the dilemma faced by The Four Hoursemen, and the solution seems obvious: order a pizza for everyone. Well, not famine obviously, he likes being hungry. And all that cheese would kinda gum up Death's jaw. And, frankly, I wouldn't let Pestilence near a pizza, you don't know what you'd catch. But War gets peckish. But who the hell delivers a pizza to The Four (or One) Hoursemen of The Apocalypse? You'd have to cross all of creation, and do it without letting the pizza get cold. Luckily, Heaven's Pizza Delivery service takes this into account. When they get an order it's delivered in three millenia or less and cooked on the fires of Hell. And then they give it to The Saint of Pizza Delivery. This creature will never stop, never deviate from it's course, never hold the pizza box any way other than flat so the topping doesn't run, and will get to you your pizza. But tracking down The Four Hoursemen (who ordered the 'Spicy as Hell' extra large deep pan) has proven tricky. It's been nearly three millenia; the cheese is beginning to congeal. The Saint must find The Hoursemen. Rumor has it that The Hoursemen have been through Khazan recently, so that is where The Saint must go. For if he doesn't deliver the pizza in the next three months, the Hoursmen get a free pizza. Which means The Saint has to go back, pick up another pizza and find them again. And that isn't funny.

What, you say he's crazy? Consumed by his work? Too focused? Well, my friend, how would you feel if you had been driving around in your work clothes for (almost) three thousand years searching after four ingrates who keep shifting around the multiverse destroying civilizations? Especially if you knew that, if you didn't find them but soon, you'd have to go back and start all over again? Right. That's what I thought.

Arcane Lore

     Arcane Lore: Standard


The Saint of Pizza Delivery has been doing his job for thousands of years. He's good at what he does. He's VERY good at what he does. When the Saint is working, he taps into all that mystical pizza delivery boy mojo that would completely fry the brains of any normal ped (read: you or me) who tried to understand it. Just stand back, and stay the hell out of his way.


The Pizza Van

     Vehicle: Ultimate

  • Reinforced Defenses


Well, look at it this way. If you're the Saint of Pizza Delivery, you need to be able to get places, and get them there fast. All this "Walking the world" bull might be just fine for all those lesser Saints, like the Saint of Saintliness, the Saint of Murder, and the Saint of Used Insurance Salesmen, but the Saint of Pizza Delivery has to travle in STYLE. So, while all the other Saints get to wear out their aetherial shoes, and even the Horsemen have their boring ol' Motorcycles, the Saint of Pizza Delivery gets to ride around in this spiffy-ass-Hell (And we know, we've been there) Van. Well, when The Saint of Pizza Delivery starts gettin' jiggy in the Van, there ain't NOTHING that's going to catch up with him.... and you sure as heck best get out of his way. I mean, you didn't think the Saint of Pizza Delivery would be squeamish about running over a pedestrian or three, did you?


Divine Will

     Energy Sheath: Superior


Make no mistake, this pizza shall be delivered. Wait, it SHALL be delivered. The Saint will not stop in his task, those that try to stop him shall feel his wrath. Normal weapons will not stop him, and if you yourself try to stop him? You'll get some pain and you'll learn not to. The Saint will never stop. The Pizza shall remain safe, the cheese unmolested.


Damn Quick

     Super Speed: Standard


Permit me to reiterate. The Saint. Delivers. Pizza. FAST! FAST, do you hear me?! If you thought that pepperoni getting to your house in five minutes when the Dominos was halfway across LA in the middle of rush hour was good, you haven't seen NOTHING yet. When the Saint puts the pedal to the metal, he'll be gone so fast you'll forget you've ever seen him. Hermes, Thoth, the Dominoes guy who just delivered to your igloo in the arctic (you know who you are), they got nothin' on this guy.


Pizza Boxes

     Shuriken: Superior

  • Ranged Attack Only
  • Double Damage to l1v:Empathy


In the back of the Van, the Saint has a lot of empty pizza boxes. A lot of them. He has been delivering since...well, since Time began. They're getting, frankly, a bit rank. The ones at the bottom could probably be used as re-entry sheilds. Hence, they can be used as weapons. The Saint can fling loads of them at a time at his enemy, striking them many many times. Also, all the old stringy cheese that covers these boxes has a great side effect: it gets inside cybernetic guys, gumming up their works and doing even more damage. Mwahaha.



     Closed Mind: Superior


The Saint is on a mission from God. He has one Goal. One Thought. One Topping. He WILL deliver this pizza. The Word is upon him, and it has been echoing in his head since the beginning of time. Well, really it was since about 3000 years ago, when he got the order from the Horsemen, but who's counting, right? Anyway, come rain, snow, sleet, blood, guts, falling rocks, demons, angels, icky things from the Dimensions of Pain, and Richard Simmonds, nothing shall stay the Saint from his divine quest: The Pizza Shall Be Delivered On Time!