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Shaggy vs. Dagwood vs. Jughead


Sailor Moon vs. Ranma 1/2

ISSUE #129

Martial Mayhem - Round Three!

ISSUE #126

Q vs. Mr. Mxyzptkl

ISSUE #160

Wonder Woman vs. Thor


Galactus vs. Unicron

ISSUE #117

Kraven vs. Pokemon Island


Batman vs. Captain America


South Park vs. Peanuts

ISSUE #175

Luke Skywalker vs. Paul Atredis


The Joker vs. The Green Goblin


Cheetarah vs. Harley Quinn

ISSUE #177

Master Yoda vs. Professor Xavier


Wolverine vs. Predator


Men in Black vs. Marvin the Martian


Ken & Ryu vs. Scorpion & Sub-Zero


Mario vs. Sonic


Blade vs. Buffy vs. Vampire Hunter D

ISSUE #125

Great Pumpkin vs. Jack Skellington

ISSUE #141

Braveheart vs. Maximus


Hulk vs. Doomsday vs. Juggernaut

ISSUE #136

The Thing vs. Colossus


Lex Luthor vs. Dr. Doom

ISSUE #170

Jason Voorhees vs. Ash Williams


Defiant vs. White Star

ISSUE #131

Kingpin vs. Penguin vs. Jabba the Hutt

ISSUE #154

Xena vs. Buffy


Robotech Defense Force vs. The Decepticons

ISSUE #144

Kerrigan vs. Diablo

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!


Catwoman vs. Bat Girl

ISSUE #176

Daredevil vs. Snake Eyes


The Borg vs. Aliens

ISSUE #145

Planet of the Apes vs. Star Trek Away Team


Lara Croft vs. Indiana Jones

ISSUE #109

Black Canary and Huntress vs. Black Widow and Silver Sable

ISSUE #103

Cthulhu vs. Dr. Strange and Dr. Fate


Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers


Keebler Elves vs. Krispy Elves

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine

Squad Leaders

Mobile Infantry
Colonial Marines


The Earths premier soldiers of the future go head to head.

Field of play is a five click sphere. Area conditions are swampy, but otherwise terran.

The Game is Paint Ball. The Objective is to capture the flag.

PAT:  I'm going with the Mobile Infantry on this one, Jay. I mean, what are we really looking at here? A group of Veteran, seasoned, highly skilled alien smashers, soldiers who take down The Bug on a daily basis, up against a rag-tag group which was eaten for breakfast by a few lousy Xenomorphs. Furthermore, the Colonials lack decent leadership: Lt. Gorman is an ass. I say Rico's team of Mobile Infantry takes this contest leaving the Colonial marines a humiliated and paint soaked mess.

JAY:  Pat, having pathetically scampered off to see Starship Troopers... what, five times now? ... I will forgive you your early enthusiasm. But you will see it is a sure win for the Colonial Marines. I say Gomer Pyle could have taken down The Bug and that survival against a hive of The Alien more than meets the requirements for a win here. The likes of Hicks and Vasquez will not be taken down by your pretty-boy troop of supermodels with blasters. They will feel the sting of the paint ball this day.

Join us now in a battle we had to call....

Gung Ho

This fight was suggested by Wildwills.


No Pat & Jay final commentary this week due to final exams. Luckily we have lots of great write in opinions to post.


Favorite Letter of the Week

'Lord' Rev. Dr. Paul Soth writes:

The Marines win not beacuse of superior firepower or better tactics, but beacuse the don't even need to fight. You see, when the fight begins, the MI is greated by Robet A. Heinlein, risen from the dead. Bearing all the powers granted to pissed off dead guy risen from the grave (such as in the Crow), Heinlein unleases his rage upon the MI for a number of reasons:

1: Turning his story into an action flick with teenage models.

2: Watering down his messages about a militistic socity, and what life in the military is like and how it chages a person.

3: Takeing out the power armor and the Skinnies.

4: Making Juan Rico and Carmen Ibanez white.

5: Forcing people to watch Neil Patrick Harris dresed as a Nazi.

The Marines find the butchered remains of the MI, all the troopers have looks of terror on there bloody faces. They take the flag and go home. Venengence has been served, from beyond the grave.

Atomic Skull writes:

If this was the Mobile Infantry from the original book (who wore powered armor, and packed autocannons and mininukes, and _didn't_ have stupid commanders)The it'd be the MI, no contest...

BUT, the wimpy MI from the Starship Troopers movie will get their asses kicked HARD. WHAT were they thinking? Trying to invade the Bug homeworld and hold territory? The planet wasn't suitible for human habitation, why not just nuke the whole %$#^ing planet from a high orbit?

The colonial marines *knew* when a fight was hopeless, when they found no survivors, they were just going to pull out and nuke the whole site. (ie "scorched earth")

And finally, the Colonial Marines _look_ like soldiers, not pretty boy supermodels in space - all they gotta do to beat the MI is cut off their suppy of personal hygine products :b

Corwyn writes:

I Gotta vote for the Marines on this one...They are better trained here when the Bugs ripped into the troopers they ran when the Alien snatched away half the squad Vasqueze and Deitrich ripped into them better reaction times here... course if Power Armor came into the equation....

jak writes:

Ok lets just let simple logic solve this one. the Colonial Marines faught one ship of Aliens, and ONE of them (oh and half a robot, and Ripley) survived. the Mobile Infantry faught an entire planet of Aliens of all different shapes and sizes and only one of the lead stars died. Granted losses were heavier in number with the Mobile Infantry, but percentage wise the Colonial Marines lost much more.

Demon Knight writes:

C'mon....Startshiptroopers? What a bunch of well fed, overpaid, pretty boys and girls. This is war not a issue of "cosmo". Lets just face it big bugs or not the Aliens are just creepier to fight. I say the "army of barbie" goes down in the first five seconds. A buncha plastic looking pansys they are...the Space Marines are going to fry them....what a joke.....lets have the Bug fight the Aliens that might be even.

The Match Maker writes:

I have not seen "Starship Troopers" but I have read the book. I was going to vote for the Colonial Marines because they went up against the ALIENS for crying out loud!!!! Where as the Mobile Infantry went up against...well...bugs. Where's a can of Raid when you need one!?!! But then I thought, "Hey,wait a minute! The Mobile Infantry has those Battle Suits!! Those suits make them stronger, faster, and the best part, they can jump really high and far!!! Before they knew what hit them the Mobile Infantry will be among the Colonial Marines's "stronghold" and wipe them out.

Deathbringer writes:

Riley alone could beat the pretty infantry. A current comparsion:

Mobile infantry = US ARMY

Colonial Marines = USMC

Marines have far superior training and docturine than the Army. From always being in the beach first, the Marines have evoled to be toughter. The Army is for creating firebases with thier bigger guns. The game here is Paintball. Marines are light and wiry. Infantry is going to be scattered like the excessive cute actors hearing dueling banjoes.

Semper Fi!

Jay von Hedberg writes:

This was a really tough decision, I had to go with the colonial marines.

Although, Pat was correct in that Gorman was in idiot, but Apone and Hicks would more than make up for the lack of leadership. Secondly, the colonial marines had more advanced equipment namely motion trackers, they would pinpoint the mobile infantry and wipe them out. The Suloco could take one of those cheesey little warships that got wasted by the rectal excrement of some oversized bug.

Then there is the fact that the only thing that those damn bugs had going for them was their sheer numbers. A xenomorph was cunning agile, lethal, and could think and reason for itself. They didn't have some oversized maggot telling them what to do. The mobile infantry would get wasted by a hive.

Vasquez and Drakes cool hip mounted guns would rip those bugs to shreds, the mobile infantry would shoot an alien and learn the hard way about not violating a xenomorphs space.

I liked both movies but I still have to go with the true winners.

Ravenscrow writes:

If they can take out Aliens they can take out the Mobile Inf. Compare weapons for example the Moblies have a standard kick ass machine gun! The marines on the other hand have heavy fire support, flamers and the odd shotgun, also the odd APC crusing around! Well thats just my opinion, back to the fight!

AxeHammer writes:

Mobile Infantry WILL win, cuz they blew up a hell of a lot more bugs than the Marines. Plus, they got cooler guns, too.

The Southern Fist writes:

Well, the sheer numbers of the mobile infantry is staggering, they do not have the gut wrenching marine hard edge, tough as nails determination to destroy their enemy. Mobile infantry falls back on pansy cybernetics whereas the marines won't need any advantage to beat this group of rookies. I mean the marines have at least 10 years at kickin' alien ass. Than one girl space marine from aliens would take a paintball and strap it to her knuckles and punch the hell out of the pansy mobile infantry.

Nipsy writes:

The Marines, times ten! I mean, the marines were specialists, trained to handle any situation. Those stupid Starship trooper CHILDREN were just that, CHILDREN. It took a small number of Space Marines to wipe out a whole planet, and thousands of those stupid Starship troopers still hadn't defeated those bugs! Marines win!

The Baroness Von Karloff writes:

Though, I think that "Aliens" is a much better film (not to say that I didn't love Starship Troopers), and the "Alien" is a much tougher foe, the Starship Troopers have this fight in the bag. The infantry come from a world whose whole society is built around war. If you don't join the military you are not a citzen. When they go into battle they put thier all into it. This logically means they will be better fighters. Also, there are simply more off the MI kids than the space marines.

Sizer writes:

The Marines descended into a planet that seemed like Hell itself to take on acid-spewing, gut-busting, *highly intelligent* foes.

The aliens are craftier and more predatory than the Arachnids, whose only strategy is 'outnumber the humans 500 to 1.' (This *after* assimilating vital information about our culture and military tactics!) Based on a similar success rate (countless dead, with only a few vital characters actually facing and defeating the enemy) in the face of a deadlier enemy, I say that the Colonial Marines are indeed superior.

Nine writes:

Had to go with the Colonial Marines... their characters were easier to sympathize with and Ridley Scott is a hands down a much better director than Paul Verhooven (or whatever that guy's name is). If Starship Troopers were closer to Heinlen's book than the cheesy, RoboCop interpretation, I may have voted differently. But the screen version of "Troopers" seemed too much like the pilot for a TV series on the USA Network.

Rouge 15 writes:

M.I. all the way!!! How can you even THINK that the Colonial Marines can take down the fearsome fighters who are Mobile Infantry?? The Colonial Marines may have taken out a few Aliens in their time, but the fact remains that there weren't enough survivors to fill VW Bug. Speaking of bugs... the Mobile Infantry took on a whole PLANET of alien killing-machines AND lived. They even went back AGAIN and took out more bugs. Also, the M.I. will win because their writers have a unique storyline instead of a tired plot which is continually rehashed to milk more revenue from the populace. Again, M.I. rules!

DB writes:

I have to go with the USCM on this one. They are all experienced soliders with a good sgt. and cpl. to lead them. The mobile infantry has fancy weapons, but they are worthless when the user is dropping them to the ground to haul ass back to the dropship; not good dicipline in the ranks (I am referring to 1st battle in the movie.)

It is easy to be rambo when you have tons of backup around; the colonial marines are a tight, well trained unit that can usually overcome any challenge presented them. I just hope that Drake dosen't snap and give Rico a cuban neck-tie.

romango writes:

You gotta give it to the marines. These guys are real men. The females even more so than the males. They would stomp the snot out of the space camp brats in infantry

shylock writes:

The bugs in Starship Troopers lost to Doogie Howser need I say more

LordFish writes:

Hmm well I'm still a little pissed at the whole Batman thing...but oh well, life goes on... I had to go with Colonial marines for this one, due to their incredible ass-kicking factor, and the fact that they aren't a bunch of pansy-assed namby-pamby cover models with all sorts of governmental perks..

The colonial marines are the true warriors in the ring here, they're the ones that'll show those 'troopers' whos really been 'Born again hard'

Grifter writes:

The Colonial Marines have proven that they can hold there own against any odds and fight the good fight until then bitter end. They can fight close quarters and do what is necessary to win. They are the few, the proud, the marines. They don't plan, they improvise. The mobile infantry only know how to aim and shoot. They try to be what the cannot be. Soldiers! They lack the most important weapon a soldier needs: brains. The only brain in the MI is Rico and ain't enough to win. Cut of the head and the rest will fall. Each member in the CM have at least a brain to use in tight situations...

TRANTOR writes:

Bugs or Aliens, Bugs or Aliens.... now that's a good question, but if even Doogy howser can leada successful war against the Bugs, they've gotta be over rated! This fight belongs to the Colonial Marines.... The Mobile Infantry shall die in a shower of Acid blood!

Mike Mariano writes:

The USMC would take down Doogie Howser and his Space Nazis with no problem. The Infantry has to use Hitler loyalty along with Doogie's psychic friends. The Marines are so ready for action, even their Loading equipment can take on Aliens! Besides, the Marines are on familar ground, "It's another bug hunt..."

schultztown USA writes:

While the colonial marines could easily take ten of the infantry each, there is no way they can take ten hundred each. see, the infantry's secret to success is the fact that they crank out wave upon wave of mindless little stoogees. as skilled as the marines are, there's no way for them to kill off all of the infantry, because there is just to bloody many of them.

so I voted for the infantry. I didn't like it, but I did. sorry, Vasquez, I hope you can forgive me.

Smiling Jack writes:

Even though Starship Troopers was a nice Movie, The Colonial Marines will surely triumph on this one. They're not rookies (okay, maybe just that bonehead-commander of theirs), PLUS when they took on the Aliens, they had no Rescue Ships or reinforcements, AND they had to deal with some petty Company-Man who was holding them back from destroying the bugs. I betcha the Marines will bring out THEIR Nukes a lot sooner than the Troopers in this fight :)

Player writes:

Rename this battle

90201 with cute guns


Ass whoopers.


'Nuff Said.

Magus T. Fox writes:

We need to assess the situation here. First of all, let's consider just what kind of troops are on each side:

Mobile Infantry: A bunch of young adults in their twenties, with shiny new armor and about 3 weapons, who spend their days fighting lots of huge mindless bugs which use horde tactics, wandering mindlessly towards the large array of people with big guns.

Colonial Marines: A highly trained squad of soldiers who've, as depicted in 'Aliens', been through quite a few heavy fire battles. They've got a tactical formation, including apone and valquez using waist mounted miniguns, they've got a really great vehicle, and they've got ripley. Also, they only lost to the xenomorphs because the company who sent them was too stupid to tell them what they were up against. Had they been better prepared, they would have pulled it off easily. Another plus is the fact that the xenomorphs were -smart-, they cut power, they ambushed, all sorts of hideously nasty tactics. I think that beats hordes of bugs anyday.

Dssstrkl writes:

In this kinda fight, it all comes down to how much info they have. The infantry had more information than they knew what to do with and they still got slaughtered by the bugs. The marines didn't have a clue as to what they were facing. If they had enough recon, they would have kicked a lot more ass, and then would have gone home. Plus Paul Reiser and the company didn't help matters much.

Almighty Council writes:

The Marines got this one wrapped.

The Infantry have the team work and quick thinking that was required to take out the bugs. Their leader isn't an asshole, and their weapons are effective. They just don't have a lot of experince.

The Marines on the other hand have the fighting spirit and the loyalty to each other. They have been doing missions a lot longer that the Infantry. Their problem was their leader. Eliminate him and they can do anything. They were defeated by the aliens but the aliens were fast and strong in groups or by themselves. One Alien could kill twelve soidiers before being eliminated. It's acid blood could take out even more. It may be close, but the Marines are better soldiers than Infantry

Ghost of Roy Fokker writes:

This battle will and can be only won be the alien crew. The advantage that pat stated (Paraphased)The mobile infantry will win because they beat the bugs and the colonial marine core won't because they can't beat a few exomorphs. First off the xomorphs were not known to exist to the marine core, or should I say believed. The bug threat was known and there have been several engagments by the Troopers before the attack on the bug main planet. Also The bugs didn't spit acid at the troopers. The Alien when killed shot the acid everywhere. Which I recall the main cause of marine core death. So the The Colonial Marine Core I state that the 58th Wildcards form Space Above and beyond will lend air seport to the troopers because that is the only way they even hope to get the core.

Karadek writes:

If we're talkin' Heinlein's M.I. from the book, then they're gonna be "on the bounce" and kick the unholy sh_t outta the Colonials in 2.6 minutes flat, Vasquez and Hicks be d_mned! But if we're talkin' those pansy 90210 kids in the movie, well, I'll vote for a spanish chick with big biceps anyday.

warrl writes:

This will be a short match. logic dictates that the team that survived with the most people alive is the team that will probably win. The only survivors of the CM group were not even marines! It was a little girl, a lady with an attitude problem and half of an android. Now you want to tell me they can survive a heavily armed and trained group of soldiers? Nope, I am going with the mobile infintry.

angel writes:

Go troopers!!. they have better weapons, transport , and are cuter!

Coyote writes:

I chose Mobile Infantry, even though the movie sucked, because in the book they had Mech-suits. Why they decided to take out the Mech-suits and put in the cheesey "Do you want to know more?" is a mystery to me.

DJ CHOPSY writes:

Well firstly thanks to whoever suggested this battle cause it will be immense. I havent got much to say but the Colonial Marines will win because of two facts--

1. Drake and Vasquez

2. Smart Guns

The guns will rip the Troopers to pieces and Drake and Vasquez are just ard, seasoned veterans. The troopers are just young rash geeks who dont stand a chance.

Kes writes:

I think Colonial Marines should win anyone who doesn't think so should watch Aliens ! Marines know what they are doing. All you have to do is go to High School and sign up for MI. Booo. I think Aliens is a great movie !

hannibal writes:

Colonial Marines will have recieved more training and will be the elite while the Mobile infantry is more the common solider sent to die for his country. If you have studied past and present militaries it would be obivous that a marines force would win over a infantry division any day, even if the infantry are better equiped. One example would be the anciet Byzantium cataphracts. They could probaly kick the living crap out of three squads of Napoleonic infantry men and probaly beat out a squad of WWII infantrymen merely because they are a thousand of times better trained. To put it simply Marines in at any time are liable to be able to kick the poop out of any infantry division. Especailly in this case where the technology is so similar. The fact that it is in a swamp only sets it up to be a total rout. Marines are trained for bad terrian while the infantry is trained to fight under ideal conditions. Overall I'd say the Colonial Marines will slaughter the Mo! bile Infantry without much effort.

Support Our Troops! writes:

Logic should prevail on this battle. The Starship Troopers are simply better trained, they come from a world built on the ideals of WAR! Those Space Marines even lost the battle they were fighting and had to be taken care by one psychotic ex-space rig piolit. Granted Ripley is a very cool psycho, but still those Marines should think of that as a disgrace.

Zeroreal writes:

The Colonial Marines have a distinct advantage over the Mobile Infantry, being that they are a special operations outfit. These Starship Trooper pretty boys are shipfulls of your run-of-the-mill, common grunts, dedicated to the cause of mass destruction, while the Marines have been specially trained for strategic maneuvers. Capture the Flag is right up there ally. As long as the numbers are evened, The Marines will cover every inch of Mobile Infantry on the playing field with the color of Victory. Oh yeah, and they'll win too.

[GalaxY] writes:

I really have to agree with pat, I mean we are dealing with a highly organised army of BUG smashers, agains a bunch of unorganised pirate like wariors. I definetly go with the Infantry

Chris Sawler writes:

The Colonial Marines KICK BUTT! They got the tools, they got the talent. They walked into a hive of angry aliens and walked away from it, and they lost all their ammo in the plane, but they still wasted every alien xenomorph out there.

The Starship Troopers knew that that the aliens were there, but they were still getting wasted left and right (and up and down, and probably front and back too). Also, the Marines have more weapons. They got nukes, guns, smartguns, rifles, knives, sharp sticks, and cool armor. All the troopers got is an unlimited supply of ammunition, nukes, and showers.

Vomit Death writes:

The marines will win because they have gotten rid of the Ripley factor - namely any group that has Ripley with them automatically loses. Look at the results in Alien 1 - 4, bodies everywhere, and just about the only one left to tell the tale is Ripley. (Not that I minded that she killed off Paul Reiser in Aliens; he irritates me no end.) Without that albatross around their necks, the marines kick some major butt.

The Bunyip writes:

Gee, tough call - NOT!

Mobile Infantry Tactics: Stand in a line out in the middle of the open, never take cover, walk down box canyons as a matter of course, ignore obvious signs of aliens sneaking up on you, stand still like a bunch of idiots while the enemy attacks, take off your helmets during live fire exercises, and send in the troops after only ONE bombing run when the enemy is out in the open and easier targets than a fish in a glass of water...

Colonial Marines Tactics: Don't bunch up, let the enemy come to you, take cover and use good positioning, bugger OUT when being swarmed and out of ammo, check those corners. They only STUPID thing the Colonial Marines did was let that idiot Gorman run the show.

Colonial Marines in two minutes, tops.

WhereWolf writes:

I loved ALIENS. . . but without Ripley to save 'em, the Colonial Marines are Toast. Hell, even WITH Ripley. . . the Colonial Marines were Toast. On the other hand, the Mobile Infantry has Dina "Dizzy" Meyer [ grrrrrowl !] The Mobil Infantry took on a whole planet of bugs. . . and WON! Whereas the Colonial Marines got their butts kicked by one little hive. :) But the one real reason I chose Mobil Infantry is. . . they have Dina "Dizzy" Meyer [ grrrrrowl !]

LrdChaos writes:

As a rec team Paintball player AND a Paintball Ref, I feel qualified to judge the indiviual and team skills of the two groups as to whom stands a better chance at winning.

Having said that, I must say that the M.I. will clean house. On average, their speed, manouverbility, and agility will count for more then the C.M.'s gung-ho adttitude.

Now, if this was a real fight, I'd have to reverse myself... (something about the phrase "I say we dust off and nuke this place from orbit")


'Nuff Said!


Mobile Infantry: 230

Colonial Marines: 287


Pictures for this weeks big fight came from:

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Mobile Infantry (TM) is the property of (?)

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CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles