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Martial Mayhem - Round Three!


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Kerrigan vs. Diablo

Martial Mayhem - Final Round!
[ Snake Eyes] [ Ranma ] [ Ryu ]
star star
Snake Eyes vs. Ranma vs. Ryu

This week's Fight Inspired By: Xian Terrel's (and Match Maker's ) martial art's tournament on the CBUB Message Board.


Welcome to the Khazan Olympics. Three weeks of elimination tournaments and eighteen martial arts masters later, we have finally come to the Finals. After beating down some tough competition, the cream of the crop prepares to Go for the Gold...

Snake Eyes - The Champion of Round One. Code Name for the G.I. Joe team's mysterious commando. Snake Eyes does not speak, but has proven himself an expert and deadly fighter on numerous occasions. Snake Eyes is known to be an expert in the martial discipline Ninjitsu - the way of the Ninja. Ranma Saotome - The Champion of Round Two. From the series Ranma 1/2. Heir to the Anything-Goes School of Martial Arts, a fighting style that, at times, literally uses any technique needed to win a fight. He posesses minimal chi powers, and is especially known for his speed and agility. Oh, and did I mention that he turns into a girl when splashed with cold water, and reverts back to normal with hot water? Yep, makes for loads of fun. Ryu - The Champion of Round Three. From the game / motion picture Street Fighter. Champion street fighter, this wandering adventurer takes all comers and has time left over to trounce a major crime syndicate. Who is worthy of the Gold Medal? Who rates a Silver? Who gets a rock? It's gonna be one tough fight in the ring this week to find out.

Join us now for a battle we had to call...

Wave of Mutilation


JUSTICAR:   Greetings everyone to the championship round of The Khazan Olympic Martial Mayhem Tournament! I must inform you that Callisto and Harley are experiencing some technical difficulities... So we'll be filling in this evening.

MR. HAT:   Yeah we got everything under control here in the auxilliary booth. Please ignore any gunfire, explosions or attempts at breaching the door behind us.

JUSTICAR:   Yeah! Try to nullify my contract Callisto! I think not.

MR. HAT:   Now calm down Justy, stay with me here. We have commentary to do.

JUSTICAR:   Ahem, yes. As the three champions of the previous bouts make their way to the arena lets see what the experts had to say on this battle.



XXUTAK, Lord of Werkon writes:

Yo, foo's, lissen up! Da XX Man gon' lay da troof (that's truth) down! He' we go. WHoooMP.

Snake Eyes- I guess he's kinda cool (even though I'm still pissed Leo didn't win!! GRRRRRRRRR!!), but there's just no way he can combat the kinda power Ranma an Ryu be takin into this fight, mofo.

Ranma- All right, I don't read or watch Ranma 1/2, but I know enough to know he(she?) can't bring Ryu down. Besides, he turns into a cjick, an that's DEFINATELY not cool.

Ryu-All right. Here we go. Dis be my theory. Ever watch SF:The Movie? Ever notice how Ryu managed to travel all over the world when he didn't even have a car? Ever wonder how he did that? I'll tell you how. I think Ryu's Elminster. Yeah. I think he jest lowers himself to the level of a Martial Artist so he doesn't embarrass his opponents too much. But when he sees the abomination that is Ranma, he's just gonna whip out a Cloudkill or some shit on his/her ass. An dat's da it goes!

Xian Terrel writes:

*Froths at the mouth.*

RYU WON THE LAST MATCH???!!!! DOWN WITH CAPCOM!!!! AGHHH!!!!! Alright, I'm almost calm now.

Anyway, I finally managed to play a Street Fighter game, Street Fighter EX to be exact...oh yeah, and Street Fighter VS. X-men (which my cousin and I hated). First off, I just want to say...WHERE WAS FEI LONG IN THOSE GAMES? I LIKE TWO STREET FIGHTER CHARACTERS, AND ONE OF THEM ISN'T EVEN IN THE TWO GAMES I PLAYED!!! AGHHH!!!

Back to my commentary. First of all, judging from Street Fighter EX (3D version), the Hadu-ken seemed rather weak. It was only traveling 80% of the distance across the screen before fading, and moved pretty slow. This kinda tones down Ryu's biggest advantage. Snake Eyes and Ranma Saotome take him apart.

Next, Ranma Vs. Snake Eyes. To me, a ninja's main advantage is stealth...which is kind of nullified in a fighting ring with no obstacles. Besides, Ranma can switch genders...he/she has got the best of both worlds! Uh...moving on...

Sailor Xena writes:

Out of all the fighters left, Ranma is the favorite to win the gold. His "Anything goes" style of martial arts will be best suited for fighting against multiple techniques. Ranma has a flawless record when fighting in martial arts tournements and he won't lose this one either. Snake Eyes will take the silver 'cause I don't like Ryu one bit. There, I said it, I HATE RYU!!!!!!!!!

Packrat writes:

Packrat: Okay, Ryu is gonna take it, but thats just WRONG!

Oh, excuse right back.

*goes and comforts Taki some more*

Okay...where was I? Oh yeah, Ryu.

Can you say 'STALE', boys and girls? I knew you could.

Granted, Snake Eyes is one bad ass mutha-

Taki: Shut your mouth!

Packrat: Just talkin bout Snake Eyes!

Taki: (evil grin) And I can dig it...mmmmmmm....

Packrat: *ahem* ANYWAYS, neither of these guys have ever seen anything like Ranma before. Ranma jumps over buildings with ease, he runs so fast everything is a blur.

Fireballs? Ranma's survived them.

Dragon Punches? Pfaugh, childs play.

People attacking from shadows? Ranma lives with that EVERY DAY!


Taki: Whoa, calm down,, how about a trip to the hot tub?

Packrat: *perks up* Okay, enough ranting out of me...toodles!

*runs off faster than the Flash to prep the tub*

The Bunyip writes:

As much as I like Snake-Eyes, I can't pick him to win this one.

Oh, sure - if it were permitted, the entire Joe team could take out Ryu, but if that were allowed, the Street Fighter team would just jump in and... lets not think about that.

One Capcom-esque Super Duper Hyper Hadouken and it's over, folks.

Notice I didn't bother to mention that wuss Ranma.

Logic writes:

Look at these fights logically. Consider a few points:

Snake Eyes is a Ninja

Ranma is on of the greatest martial artists in the world.

Ryu is also one of the greatest martial artists in the world.

Snakey loses.

However, after Snake Eyes has been taken down, it'll be a fast and furious battle between Ranma and Ryu, but Ranma will win. Why? Because he fights people who can wipe out mountains, knows dozens of martial art styles, has extrapolated an entire combat style from a few MOVES shown him(The Umisenken) gets punted into the upper atmosphere on a regular basis, and can punch at speeds in excess of Mach 2. Ryu? He's a scruffy guy in a dirty gi.

D.Merzel writes:

Ranma will triumph once more.

Not only does he have Darwin but he has psychotic fiancees.

In particular Shampoo, shampoo comes from a chinese martial arts villiage with rules guranteed to make them the best martial artists in the world eventually (marry man, kill lady from outside who beats you).

Shampoos villiage trained Xena (just try to disprove it) so 1000 years later the skills must be all but unstoppable.

Ranma has stopped shampoo = he wins.

Agent89 writes:

SNAKE EYES IS THE MAN TO MAKE THE GOLD!!He is a G.I. Joe! I mean come on, who else has the weapons, the strength, and the power to WIN?????

SilentWatcher writes:

Hmmmm. kay after deliberating for a long time I have decided to vote for Ranma for these reasons A)Grrrl power I know that every one out there with hormonal imbalances (Myself included) will count him/her to be the closest thing we can get to a girl finalist. B) Insainity strikes, if anything goes then he/she/whatever will probably end up punchin' and kickin' like a mainicacv. Winner every time. and finally C) I did Enny-Meeny-Miny-Moe and landed on him/her so that must mean that the fates are with her. (I still say that Ryu should be disqualified if he even DARES to use ONE fireball!)

Unknown Joe writes:

Snake Eyes wins. He is Americaīs finest soldier. A member of the legendary team that represented the good olīred, white and blue. So, like always, he is the man. Got to get tough, YO JOE!!!

Jasper writes:

How the hell can Ranma be losing? Okay, it's a high quality anime fighter versus an action figure and a video game! Ranma's beaten fighters with twice the power of those other two losers. Plus, who can disagree with Callisto?

Greebo71 writes:

Snake eyes wins this one, hands down for one very important reason (Ass-kicking skills not withstanding):


All Ryu has is that smelly Gi. Ranma hasn't got a damn thing. Snake-Eyes is loaded for bear, as any good ninja GI Joe team member would be. What good are a couple of fireballs and a mutant transsexual against a man in black who survived hard radiation and is still kickin' ass? Not a damn thing. Snake-Eyes will bring the Gold home to the Good ol' USA.

As for the silver medal, who cares? Second place is the First Loser. Besides, Callisto would whup all their asses.

The Saint writes:


Yup, it's about time Snake-Eyes got his just deserts for beating someone WHO SHOULD HAVE WON in round 1. There's no way he'll make it against ki-weilders. As for Ranma? Ryu probably blows up a cold water pipe. In his female form, he has less strength despite having greater speed. Ryu's dead serious. All Ranma faced was Ryoga. If you have a hard time outwitting someone who needs twice as much brains to be a half-wit, you must be in deep @#!#@...

Mr Sinister writes:

Damn... Snakes Eyes is pollin' more than Ryu... can't for the life of me see why. Ryu is gonna lay the smack down on these two smack down on these two wannabes harder than ever before or since - can you say "traction"? Cause that's the only way Snakey and Ranma are gonna ever get their spines back into shapes after Ryu's got through with 'em...

RealLoneWolf writes:

Allow me to reinstate my previous statement: Ranma "Wild Horse" Saotome is the king of combat! He'll make Snake Eyes scream like a girl, then have Ryu so beaten up he'll go home and cry on his boyfriend Ken's lap for a month!

Go Ranma!

Digimaster writes:

Ranma Saotome of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts formerly known as = don't know , Terry the lone wolf Bogard , depressionblast87 , orochi no yamato , Jack Bandit , etc. writes:

Ranma all the way. As I mentioned as Jack Bandit(yeah baby!) Sailor Moon can beat the crap out of all of the 'Martial Mayhem' fighters. Ranma put up a match for her and she only won because she cured him of his cure!(sorry Calisto =) And I think my suggestion was posted in 3rd place as Terry the Lone Wolf Bogard(yeah baby) because of my analysis of moves. Here I go again.

Ryu Ranma

--- -----

Hadouken = Nagareboshi Kyaku(Shooting Star Kick)

Hurricane Kick = Hiryu Shoten Ha(Heaven Blast of the Dragon)

Shinkuu Hadouken = Moko Takabisha(Fierce Tiger Domeering)

Dragon Punch = Kachuu Tenshin Amaguriken(Chestnuts Roasting Over An Open Fire)


And that's about all of their moves. Plus as I mentioned as Jack Bandit(yeah baby) , Ranma has been up against 7 Lucky Gods , illusions , over 16 fiancees(Genma trading Ranma for food) , and Akane's cooking! Once again , Ranma all the way.

replay writes:

Snake Eyes is a god 'mongst mortal men. Ryu needs a freakin' bath and Ranma is a cross dressing freak. Gives a whole new meaning to "School of anything goes". Snake Eyes is a ninja master trained by the GI Joe team. Snake Eyes will leave the arena victorious while the other two will leave the arena in a 10 gallon bucket

"Make sure you don't spill any!!"

The Unknown Comic writes:

Ranma is the man and woman for this fight. Snake-Eyes? Puh-leeze I don't know how the GI Joe fanboys pulled that one off. How in the hell is he supposed to take down either Ryu or Ranma with his Hai-Karate chop. Stormshadow in real life would have put the smack down on Snake Eyes. Its easy for a martial artist to excell in a cream puff world like GI Joe where the good guys battled evil and nary a drop of blood is spent.

As a rule of Martial Arts no occidental will honestly beat an oriental unless its a cheesy Chuck Norris or Jean-Claude Van Dammitall flick! Give me Jackie Chan or give me death!!

OK, now that brings us to Ryu vs. Ranma.

Ryu may seem all high and mighty. He may have the big ripped chest. He may have chi energy crackling all about him as he calmly walks the Earth in such of battle. I ask you however, has he seen Hell and lived to tell about.

Akuma and M.Bison are garbage heaps next to the evil that is Happosai. I demand from you, could Ryu have survived the misery that is life with Genma? Could he avoid Nabiki's ambitions? Would you find him a quivering mass of jello after surviving a day of Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo and Kodachi... I think so.

Ryu does not have the experience of walking through the HELL that is Nerima. Each day Ranma walks that path. Every week Ranma learns something new, defeats another opponent, pushes himself higher and higher.

Ranma is a master of avoidance, adaption, quick thinking, power moves, and knowledge of The Art (and Forbidden Arts that were better left unknown, Cat Fist, need I say more). Ranma has faced down enemies ranging from mortal to supernatural to gods! Ranma's entire life IS training! Genma has his boy prodigy ready to face anything the world will throw at him.

After the fight is over and Ryu is scraped off the pavement, he will thank God Almighty. He will thank the Heavens that he does not live the life of Ranma Saotome.

Katrover writes:

Cleo: +watches Hired Goons restrain Katrover+ Looks like I'll have to comment for Kat since she's so cheezed that you didn't include Tifa at all in this tourament.


Cleo: Geez, Kat!! Anyway, my prediction is that halfway through the fight, a bucket of cold water splashes on Ranma,rendering him into her. Ryu and Snake Eyes are momentarily dazed, not just because of the werid metamorphsis in that took place, but by the fact that there's now a hot young woman in front of them. You know what I'm talking about....

EECCCHIII!!! HENTAI!! Cleo, I'm warning you-

Cleo: Just expressing my opinions here!! Ranma takes advantage by kicking them in the place down know, that place!!

Good grief......

Cleo: With the other fighters down from kicks in"spot", Ranma-chan wins the match!! That is my comment. Now, if you'll excuse me-+runs away+


The Animator writes:

Ranma's gonna be the first to go. Why? Because Snake and Ryu are not bound by the rules of animie fighting. They'll beat Ranma to death while s/he does his/er overly long, slow motion power-summoning routine.

Snake bites the dust next. He broke the first rule of Peter Anspach--he wears a face consealing visor. Fighting in a night-like atmospher, with no peripheral vision, he get beat like a four year old at K-mart.

Game. Set. Match. Ryu.

rumble in the bronx writes:

now most of the best of the best are here (i still don't belive that bloody ninja won over shiva)

okay since i hate gi joe.... snake eyes no matter if he was the coolest is gone... why? because of one thing that he lacks compared to ranma and ryu... chi attacks... come on ryu and ranma will just stand on either side of him and you'll here a simltaneous "HADOKEN" and "MOKOU TAKABIASHIA" and burn snake eyes to little bitty ashes....

now here come two world class martial artist.... now people are going to say that ryu has the most moves but in all actuallity ranma has more moves.... if you take ranma at the end of his series he had a number of moves at the end... he had his big three which were his kaschuu tenshin amiguriken, the mokou takabiashia, and the hiryuu shotenha, but he also has the moves that he alredy had in the begining of the series, and the saotome secret techniques he also learned from his father (and not the saotome secret technique, get ready set run away)the uminsen ken which will just take away ryu's big ass shinku hadoken because ranma will just use the shooting star blanket defense and shoot it right back at him adding a little of his chi with it and hurting the big guy... and overall hand to hand combat i think ranma is more skilled here... even though ryu is good in the art... almost prfect in HIS art.... ranma is just too good in MULITIPLE arts... his school takes arts from different arts and adapts them into his style... hell most of his big attacks aren't even part of his original school, he had to blend them from amazon fighting....and then there is one other point... ryu is a really strong, high tolerance of pain and really big chi attack fighter... that sounds like ranma's arch nemisis ryouga who ranma CONSTANTLY beats up everytime....

so because of the move arsenal, the adaptability and the overall that ranma goes against guys like ryu all the time ryu will just be put down like anybody that goes against ranma....

and when ranma starts to make the awards speech and goes off in saying that nobody could beat him ukyou, shampoo and kodachi will come to woo ranma and praise him, then akane being jealous (even though she won't admit it) will go over and use the big ass hammer of death on ranma and drag him back home while screaming into his ear for being a stupid macho arrogant jerk and end off with a "RANMA NO BAKA" and punt him into a low earth orbit that only akane could do.

The Archimage writes:

I pretty much discounted Snake Eyes, given that I can't remember a single episode of GI Joe and that his competition is too stiff. I voted for Ryu, but I gotta go with Ranma here, even though I've never seen the series. Going by what happened in Round 2, anyone who goes too offensive against Ranma earns a foot to the face for their efforts. Ryu will probably try to put some distance between himself and Ranma, but s/he's too quick for that. A Hurrican Kick is likely to be followed by a variant of Ranma's technique of standing on the blade, where s/he stands on his leg and kicks him. Either a Shoryuken or a Hadoken will leave him wide open, and there's no way he can match Ranma's skill without his moves. Game Over.

inkpencil writes:

I can't believe Ryu could be behind. He can whup both of em, even if he was teamed up on. I mean, c'mon, the Dragon Punch alone would shatter the skulls of most contenders! Besides, I wanna read about him leaving before he is congratulated and walking off into a 16-bit scrolling forest to seek more challenges.

The Pilot writes:

What the hell is going here? Ranma is winning? Ranma is not an individual who could beat Snake Eyes, much less Ryu. He/she is an idiot who can be outsmarted by Snake Eyes and out powered by Ryu. Ryu would waste Ranma, while Snake Eyes waits until Ranma is eating dirt. Snake Eyes would then easily beat a weakened Ryu and take the gold.

Sailor Dragonfyre writes:

RANMA!! Why, you may ask, do I vote for Ranma, when the other choices are obviously just as good? That's easy, because he's got balls and breasts, he can fight dirty as a guy or a girl and he can pretty much fly, you know those high chi jumps, etc, etc. AND he gets his practice by beating up his giant panda daddy!


SAMAS writes:

And now we come to the inevitable conclusion. Our three winners from the previous battles will fight for the Coveted(?) Kazan Martial Arts Championship. All 3 of our warriors have strong senses of honor, so there will be no hiding, no two-on-ones, and most importanly, NO CHEAP SHOTS. This will be an all-out, free for all, the way it was meant to be.

Snake-Eyes is good, REAL Good, but he's just a bit outclassed here.

Ryu is good competition. Ranma will enjoy kicking his ass.

After it's all said and done, Goku comes in, gives all three fighters a senzu bean, and the four of them go at it again, just for kicks.

Skeearmon writes:

Why Ranma? Well, anyone who can avoid giant pizza paddles, midgets with panty fetishes, massive ki blasts,rivals with no sense of direction, and still manage to get ENGAGED to three different chicks must have something going for him!

Hmmm....just what are the laws for bigomy in Japan anyways?

Dark Queen writes:

What can I say? I belive I said it in the first fight, the silent can be the deadliest. Snake eyes made the win here so it must work. In fact, there have been many silent assasins: Darth Maul, Noob Siabot... the list goes on! And look at the competition! You got a guy who can't decide wether he's a man or a woman and another punk who thinks he's all that and a bag of chips!

Guys, Snake eyes is gonna eat your bag of chips with a little drink on the side!

Razorwitt writes:

OK, first off, way.

Maybe he was in a live-action movie...but has anyone ever seen VanDamme's Street Fighter AND enjoyed it? I think not!

Besides, during the 80s vs 90s video game match, Ryu was taken out by Karate Champ...who didn't even RATE this tournment! Now, that ain't right! Losing to someone who doesn't even qualify for the tournament!

Then there's Ranma...and he/she's got major issues. Face it, if you change gender everytime you get wet, and you're old man changes species in the same way, then you're gonna be a little messed up and have all kinds of identity crises and conflicts. No doubt Ranma goes each day wondering who he/she is and what he/she is doing with his/her life. Wouldn't you be under all kinds of conflict and confusion? I know I would!

So, this leaves Snake Eyes, a guy so cool a wild timber wolf submits to being his sidekick because its animal sharp senses just KNOW he's cool and needs a sidekick. A man who redefines the "strong, silent type". A man who thumps Cobra goons just to stay in shape. Think it's easy to thump Cobra goons? Try it sometime! Sheer numbers should weigh you down, but not Snake Eyes!

So, he should take this match. YO JOE!

xianartman writes:

The battle of the arts... martial arts. Well in order to understand the victory it is important to consider the contestants.

Ryu: a very good fighter and excellent martial artist with some chi attacks.

Ranma: also a very good fighter and martial artist. Ranma may not be as strong as Ryu, but he/she (which ever the case may be) is faster and more agile. Plus Ranma also has powerful chi attacks.

Snake eyes: From what I can tell Snake eyes is a normal human. He can fight well and be very quick, but doesn't have anything close to chi attacks.

All taken into consideration it comes down to Ryu and Ranma who do have chi attacks. It is a battle of strenght vs. speed and agility. My vote goes for speed and agility because even great strength can be used against itself.

Nuff Said Ranma is da ma...wo...uhh...ya.

Sicod writes:

Snake Eyes is Good, but the other two are "GRRRRRREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAATTTTTTT" Ranma never loses twice to the same opponent. Ryu trains to take out anybody. Ryu will win this because this is the first encounter between him and Ranma, and Ranma is always shakey on those first encounters. Ryu just beats the piss out of you on those first encounters...'Nuff said

Whatever writes:

Hmm, tough one. I'm pretty sure that the foul sorcerer Saotome will win but I gotta vote for the Joe.

Here's why. Ranma NEVER wins the first fight against an opponent. Chances are, he'll face off with Ryu, who'll send him on an all expense paid trip to the Smack Down Hotel since this is their first meeting.

Meanwhile, Snake Eyes stays in the shadows and opens up a can of whoop-a** on Ryu, who is tired-out from fighting the pig-tailed girl.

For those of you who doubt Snake Eyes' abilities, he's on par with Storm Shadow, a Cobra ninja. Now the reason this is impressive is that in one particular episode I remember, Storm Shadow dismantled a tank in seconds with his bare hands as a demonstration to a bunch of Cobra resruits. Which means that Snake Eyes isn't to be taken lightly since he's beaten the Cobra ninja who sent whole battalions of Joe vehicles to the scrap yard.

Besides, Snake Eyes is used to dealing with whole armies and while any super powered martial artist worth their salt can beat the living daylights out of a bunch of extras, how many can say that those extras have lasers and bazookas and androids who just don't stay down?


This is a plea for everyone to vote against video game boy. What does throwing fire balls have to do with martial arts anyway? I will freely admit it makes a more interesting video game, but if Ryu wins because of it, it will be a travesty.

Peter Eng writes:

Okay, what we have here is: Snake-Eyes, the "realistic" ninja; Ranma Saotome, of the Saotome school of Anything Goes Martial Arts; and finally, Ryu, trained in Shotokan Karate by a legendary master.

Snake-Eyes is out of it quickly if he tries to mix it up directly. A hadoken or Dragon's Heaven Blast will send him into orbit. Optimal strategy: Hide in shadows, let Ryu and Ranma throw down on each other, then backstab the survivor.

Ranma has a nice edge in the instant sex-change ability, but it probably won't throw either of his opponents off balance. So that leaves him with everything he knows, which includes some extreme cinematic effects that are equal or superior to a level 3 Super attack.

Ryu has a slight experience advantage, which might allow him to beat Ranma.

Personally, I see it as a toss-up between Ryu and Ranma...but I favor Ryu for no real reason at all.

Neodymium writes:

Here's how it goes down. Snake-eyes, realizing that he has the disadvantage due to Ryu's incredible powers and Ranma's...well.. anime style of fighting, let's himself be "taken out" fairly early. He then watches from the ground while the other two fight it out in grand style for a while. When Ranma and Ryu really start to get into the battle, Snake-eyes casually shoots them both in the head. Battle Over. Sure, it may not be the most honorable thing to do, but Snake-Eyes is a ninja and knows what he must do to win. {Alternate battle: Snake-Eyes, with his infinite wisdom, realizes that this contest is pointless and will prove nothing. Knowing he could easily take the others when outside of the arena, Snake-Eyes throws the match and lets Ranma defeat him.(Come on, you know Ryu couldn't beat a Dude-that-can-be-turned-into-a-chick-and-still-wail-on-justaboutanybody!) Most likely Snake-Eyes would then go after the people in charge of the whole thing and kill them}

Beetle Bomb writes:

I voted for Snake-Eyes, because he says nothing....just kicks ass. (Creepy because you can't tell under that mask if he actually smiles and gets off on it while he does it. Y'know? Think about it.) L8.

Nicholas Eckert, a.k.a. the Vidstudent writes:

Ranma and Ryu will size each other up, say a few words, and go at it, with fists, feet, and chi flying like a Superman on acid. Truly a sight to behold, a battle for the ages.

In the midst of this, however, Snake Eyes will toss a small amount of C-4 roughly in the middle, from his small haven in the rafters.

Hey, no one said the fight would be _fair_....

Hysteria writes:

Well, first off, kudos to y'all for putting out such a great matchup! I gotta tell ya, picking a winner is not going to be easy. All three of these guys are martial artists, and their places as the top three are well-deserved.

So who wins? I see that Ranma is coming in first place, followed by Snake-Eyes and Ryu. Much as I love Ranma 1/2, and as good as he is with all martial arts, there is something Snake Eyes and Ryu have which he doesn't. That is the fact that Snake Eyes and Ryu are used to fights where the fighters don't always walk away unscathed. Snake Eyes has been tortured, shot, stabbed, and hit numerous times, and Ryu at the end of the Street Fighter 2 movie was looking pretty ragged. Not to mention his "losing portrait" in Street Fighter 3, is brutal. Ranma, on the other hand, doesn't seem to get hurt all that often, outside of Akane's mallets, and even then, it's "looney tunes" violence, and not "serious" violence with lasting consequences. since Ranma is outnumbered 2 to 1 by the "serious" violence, I suspect he'll be playing by those rules, which is why he'll be the first to fall.

Now we have Ryu vs. Snake Eyes. Ryu is good, make no mistake about that. Darn good. Snake Eyes, however, even after you strip away the childhood nostalgia, is better. He was an army brat, a student of ninjitsu, and a member of a highly-trained counter terrorist force, aka G.I. Joe. As such, he has had more actual combat experience than Ryu. Yes, I know, Street Fighting continuously will hone your combat skills, but still, as it was artufully put by Larry Hama, being in Vietnam was "a doctorate for someone who wanted to major in combat." It was nasty over there, and if you combine that with his ninjitsu training, you have one of the nastiest SOB's out there, who knows how and where to strike when his enemy least expects it, and also has a few weapons to call on if things get out of hand. Snake Eyes is the winner out of this bunch of VERY worthy competitors.

The A.R. Guy writes:

Oh come on, Snake Eyes has this in the bag. First off, he's a GI Joe, which means he's part of the biggest legacy of fighting in the known Megaverse, plus he has access to a virtually bottomless supply of stuff. If all else fails, he can just lob a grenade or two.

Secondly, He's older than that bizzar Identity-crisis-waiting-to-happen kid, so he's got the experiance behind him. Also, I think EVERYONE's tired of Street Fighter.

Daki writes:


*Insert sound of Ranma hitting the ground hard and trying to collect what remains of his/her teeth...then passing out*

"Snake Eyes and Ryu share a glance and nod. Now that the weakest is removed, they may concetrate on their battle. Snake Eyes, a Ninja skilled in what is considered one of the best Martial Arts in the world. Ryu, wandering warrior who seeks the next level of challenge. He found that challenge in Snake Eyes. All is quiet in the arena as the two stare at each other. No one dares to speak, few even want to breath for fear of breaking the concentration of the two. After several tense moments, they leap forward and the fight's begun!"

Sounds great doesn't it? Yeah...Ryu has all those power moves and managed to take down some of the biggest baddies in the world. Same can be said of Snake Eyes. It WOULD make a terrific fight that both would remember for the rest of their days.


Too bad none of us get to see this because Ranma is ahead in the votes!!! HOW CAN THIS BE?!? Ranma gets his but kicked by a giant Panda. Ryu takes down Bison, Snake Eyes takes on Cobra.

Ranma gets confused if he should bring the wonderbra with, or just wear it all day. Snake Eyes and Ryu KNOW they have big brass ones and don't worry about it. They just want to kick ass!

This is truely a DARK day for the martial arts world. The ONLY way I can see Ranma beating these two is this scenario:

Ryu and Snake Eyes go out to the bar the night before the match. Both of them drink a fifth of Vodka, two bottles of Rum and about 40 beers. Both head to the bathroom to drain the bladder which has pushed all their inner organs up to their throats. While in the bathroom, they find a bag of wacky tobaccy. A couple hundred hits later, they get a serious case of the munchies, go to a restaurant and eat some bad sushi. This makes them so sick they find themselves BACK in the bathroom. Both slip on the wet floor and crack their heads, giving both severe concussions and some bad cuts that bleed all over the floor. Once they manage to stand up, they both down some Tequilla and head for the arena. Once in the ring, the fight begins with Ranma trying to punch and kick, but Ryu and Snake Eyes dodge them all while staggering around (think Drunken Kung Fu). After fifteen minutes of this, Ryu decides he HATES Snake Eyes' mask and Snake Eyes thinks that blood stained gi of Ryu's is pretty ugly too. They both whallop each other with a big punch and they are OUT. Ranma wins. (phew)

*Daki is taken away by the white coats to string more beads*

Barima aka Sensei-B writes:


Once more we find ourselves in Khazan's most hallowed halls.Watching the esteemed martial artists of their respective universes prepare for battle for the final time.

We are at the end of the tournament.We observe the moves of the ninja,the improviser and the shotokan.All have fought valiantly to reach this final battle.*There can only be one*.

Snake Eyes goes down like Jay making like a circus seal.He was lucky to get past the fighters in his round.He's going nowhere here.Snake-Eyes,I officially pronounce you DFL.As in "Dead F*****' Last".I'll be lookin' out for his head being punted across the battleground.

Ranma and Ryu.I've let the party people at the message board advise my choice and this is my humble conclusion-Ranma punks Ryu like Muhammed Ali Bombaye!It's all true.Ranma outclasses Ryu,since those Manga-peeps are a whole power-level above even video-game stars.Ryu's only chance is for his Marvel crossover power-levels to be made canon.Otherwise his ass is truly kicked.

Let's give it up for the Martial Mayhem tournament.Four great rounds that were booty like no other booty.

B-Man-booty is good for you.DFL!

Thomas Wilde writes:

Are those grenades on Snake-Eyes' belt?

If they are, why is anyone else getting votes?

Azermaine writes:

I recebtly had a conversation with Shampoo on the subject of the winner of this bout. Here is what she had to say:

"Shampoo love Boy-type Ranma. Many men love Girl-type Ranma, but not Shampoo. Boy-type Ranma not love Shampoo. Shampoo help Boy-type Ranma win, then Boy type Ranma will love Shampoo! Shampoo will Kill quiet man and man from video game, then Boy-type Ranma will love Shampoo. We will get married and have lots of babies!"

Well, I can't argue with that type of logic!

Tak writes:

Oh god.. Ranma all the Way...

Ryu may have a fireball, and snake eyes may have the Retro Vote, but ranma. Ok here it goes:

Ranma is the master of the Anything goes martial arts, and s/he'd prolly kick the snot out of Snake eyes ( just us the Katsutehshin-namakuriken) and when s/he turns to Ryu (cuz you know its gunna be a double team ) Ryu will try his Cheap ole' arcade attacks ( jump, med kick, crouching round house ) and that may wear RAnma down some, but ranma also has the Rising punch, and don't forget... Happosai! i wouldn't be surprised if he jumped in the ring too! Ryu could win it, if he did that lame super that no one uses the Charge Electric Fireball (sounds like a Dance,don't it?) and that could take out some people. If Ryu was the Ryu from SFIII then this would be a hands down Ranma. If it was the Ryu from Marvel vs Capcom , then Ryu as a BIG chance ( shin Ryu , need I say more?) Lets just hope that That Indian Gi joe doesn't show... he was boring...

De The Great writes:

I haven't ever heard of Ranma, so I won't comment on him/her. But how in the world did Ryu get in there? He's not even the best guy on street fighter for crying out loud!!!!!!!! Because of these two things the vote had to go to Snake Eyes.

AK-47 writes:

Snake Eyes takes why because

Training: SNAKE EYES is trained in multiple forms of martial arts and by the United states armed forces, he also has more expeirence then his oppenets.

RANMA is trained in an anything goes enviroment and there for has not gained a complete understanding of martial arts in which cheap shots are not aloud.Also this happazard training has been for two people male and female whos abilities and training styles are going to be different and not as much time can be taken on each one.

RYU is a scraper street fighter trained on the streets and there for has similiar hapazard anything goes training.

Conclusion(training): As far as training goes Snake Eyes has it in the bag as he does for expeirience, he's been fighting Cobra before the other two were glimmers in there creators Eyes.

Equipment: SNAKE EYES has a sword grenades(smoke I think) and any thing the U.S army could issue

RANMA & RYU uh ummm anything they can find pick up, metal pipes sticks swords(maybe)

Conclusion(equipment): Not a hard one

Conclusion(total)Snake Eyes is the best trained and equipet he also has the most experience.

Singe writes:


The snake man has it.

Snake-eyes can take on the likes of anything you can throw at him. Except for Bruce Lee.

C.N. Constantin writes: a unique experience. A GIJOE silent ninja, a anal retentive shodokahn, and a anything goes martial artist with a severe gender crisis.

Should be...interesting.

Jace Von Varius writes:

Allright Ranma has this hands down. Not because he's superhumanely fast, not because he can let loose with a tornado energy move, but because of adaptability.

Anyone who can put up with the curse he's got (the one about the water and the transformation) has to be good. Not only that, but Ranma has pulled through in situations involving...

- Loss of powers

- Naked women (quite a bit, actually...)

- Akanae (category all its own...)

- A thief as a father

- A VERY strange phobia to cats

- Around, oh, 4 fiances (or was it 3?)

- Being surrounded by idiots

- Being surrounded by people trying to kill him

- Being surrouded by (here's a classic) idiots trying to kill him

- And of course, fighting all sorts of mythical beasts

Ranma, hands down. Besides, G.I. Joe sucks quite royally.

Nine writes:

Before the fight, Ranma showers but doesn't dry thoroughly. In between the tranformation he stammers as he tries to get passed the security guards. "I'm Ranma! I'm Ranma!" The guards escort Ranma to the elderly section of the arena.

Ryu is stranded in his dressing room, desperately trying to remember which joystick/button combo he needs to open the door. He (like anyone who has played StreetFighter) curses the game's creator.

Snake Eyes makes his way out to the ring, greeted with boos from two thirds of the audience, and a smattering of applause from the few people who like the "newer, tinier GI Joe collection".

He's about to claim the Championship belt when there is a sudden crash from above the ring. Shards of glass splatter over the canvas, and sliding down the repel rope comes 1970's GI Joe---complete with the Kung Fu Grip. His towering twelve inch torso overshadows the overconfident ninja.

The last thing Snake Eyes sees before he is squashed is one BIG, BLACK combat boot (Made of durable plastic by Mattel. Repelling Kit sold separately). **The FINAL word**

Cthulu writes:

Gig nof gasded nog daqw kor ko Snake Eyes fres ned dod de snas di dofk dofy fowsd nias nos! I couldn't have said that better myself.


MR.HAT:   Ignore those Phillistines! What in the hell do they know anyway!

JUSTICAR:   Mr. Hat, please let's have some decorum here!

MR. HAT:   Of course, I wouldn't want to make you angry and do strange things Justy. Well the combatants are entering the arena. Snake Eyes looks like he's ready to storm a Cobra's nest. Ryu's looking grimm and determined.

JUSTICAR:   Umm, yes, well... Man! Ranma just looks PO'd, doesn't he, heh? Either he just fought with Akane or he's heard some of the write-in commentary that didn't make the cut. Either way he's ready to make a point.

MR. HAT:   These three slabs of meat look ready to make hamburger of the other two. Also, to spice things up The Arena is set up as the Jungle Gym from Hell. Doesn't all that just look precious.

JUSTICAR:   Yes, obstacles of all sorts waiting for some lucky martial artist.

MR. HAT:   The crowd is anxious waiting for the bell that will start this competetion. The crowd is also chanting the one rule that will govern this event.


BELL:   **DING**

JUSTICAR:   WOAH! With the bell Ranma just exploded onto Ryu. Fists and kicks full of fury are just exploding against Ryu.

MR. HAT:   Ranma wasted no time laying into Ryu. Ryu wasn't expecting an offensive so fast. Its just not Ranma's style.

JUSTICAR:   Snake-Eyes is gone! He wasted no time either, putting that Ninjitsu to good use.

MR. HAT:   Ryu is back-peddling into what looks like a psycho display of modern art.

JUSTICAR:   Ranma is slowing down a bit, getting a bit more defensive as Ryu begins to stand his ground. Its doesn't look like Ranma's flurry hurt Ryu that much but it did take him off his game.

MR. HAT:   What I wan't to know is where that assassin ended up. There's a lotta shadows down there. I see someone's Achille's getting slashed here.

JUSTICAR:   Damn, I think that was Ranma's plan all along. He gave Snake Eyes the opprotunity he needed.

MR. HAT:   Bam! Ranma just got pasted as Ryu finally connects with a firm side-kick. I think Ryu just sent a message back to Ranma with that... and that is don't @#%$* with the Hadoken.

JUSTICAR:   Thank God for 7 second delay. Hold on folks I think its Achille's time! Our infa-red cameras are focusing behind Ryu. Snake Eyes is ready to strike and Ryu doesn't seem to be aware.

MR. HAT:   Ranma is! Yes! Its career ending injury time!

JUSTICAR:   No! Ranma just Anime Lept Ryu! He's squaring on Snake Eyes!


MR. HAT:   Well hot damn! Snake Eyes just did his Sasuke impression for the evening. He better bring more to the table that! I still want to see some blood!!

JUSTICAR:   Ryu is not happy about Ranma saving his back.

MR. HAT:   Ranma is about to say something stupid but I don't think he'll get the chance...


MR. HAT:   Ranma was sent back! I think that busted something.

JUSTICAR:   Ryu is moving in on Snake Eyes now who is still lying prone behind him...


MR. HAT:   Finally some blood!!

JUSTICAR:   With one fluid motion Snake-Eyes just threw his katana at Ryu. Man that was fast.

MR. HAT:   Snake-Eyes is back on his feet. He's peppering Ryu with shurikens!


MR. HAT:   Ryu's starting to glow red with power. He's a bloody mess.


JUSTICAR:   Ryu is a wave of fierocity as his he unleashes his tornado kicks on Snake-Eyes.

MR. HAT:   Ryu is taking no chances with Ranma either as unleashes a few fireballs in his direction.

JUSTICAR:   They explode around Ranma as he manages to dodge the onslaught.

MR. HAT:   Looks like some of wooden obstacles have caught fire too! Its a good thing the Arena has a state of the art fire surpression system.

JUSTICAR:   How did I know that somehow water would enter this fight?

MR. HAT:   Hey... hey... that female Ranma aint too shabby.

JUSTICAR:   Mr. Hat he is still a guy!

MR. HAT:   Not my problem... anyway babe or not. Ranma is determined to get back into this. Speaking of babes guess who stopped by the booth that little tart Sailor Moon.

USAGI:   Thanks for inviting me Justy, *eek!*

JUSTICAR:   Bad Mr. Hat! You stop that!... Don't mind the puppet.

USAGI:   Heh, ya well Ranma sure is doing better than when he fought me...

MR. HAT:   I'm curious Miss Moon, just how much fan service did it take to get out that vote?!

USAGI:   WHAT! I WON THAT FAIR AND SQUARE! *starts bawling and disappears*

JUSTICAR:   You're a mean one Mr. Hat, just like we planned. Onna-Ranma (female Ranma) is working up some chi energy of her own to counter the chi attacks of Ryu.

MR. HAT:   Snake Eyes is also moving in on Ryu from the other side.

JUSTICAR:   Ranma is defenitely waiting for something to happen here.

MR. HAT:   Ryu is wary of attack on both fronts but deems Snake-Eyes the easier to hit being closer to him.

JUSTICAR:   Snake Eyes just rolled under a barrier as he dodges a few swipes from Ryu.

MR. HAT:   Snake Eyes disappears into the obstacles, but somehow reappears from up high and drop kicks Ryu hard.

JUSTICAR:   Snake Eyes is showing that he's no slouch in the skills department.

MR. HAT:   Ryu is dazed. Snake Eyes is quickly moves in on Ryu, not letting this opprotunity pass. Ranma is moving in circular motion around them both.

JUSTICAR:   Snake-Eyes and Ryu are now engaged in a rapid exchanged of blocks and attacks. Ranma is rapidly closing in.

MR. HAT:   Ryu quickly turns to attack Ranma.


JUSTICAR:   WOAH! We have pandemonium here as The Heaven's Blast just unleashed a small tornado in the arena.

MR. HAT:   Yes, lucky fans who wanted to be a part of the action are now flying willy nilly about the stadium.

JUSTICAR:   We've just found Ryu! He landed hard in section GG-34 way off in the cheap seats. He is not moving!

MR. HAT:   Snake Eyes who's just about had it with all these chi attacks has miraculously survived and has just whipped out an UZI assault rifle. Yo Joe Snake Eyes!

JUSTICAR:   Onna-Ranma is looking very concerned at the recent development, but the judges have just ruled that UZIs are legal in this tournament.

MR. HAT:   Snake Eyes has Ranma pinned down amidst the wreckage.

JUSTICAR:   Looks like Snake Eyes is readying some frag grenades.

MR. HAT:   Woo Hoo we have explosions and chaos everywhere as Snake Eyes is leveling what was a nice modern art exhibit.

JUSTICAR:   Those explosions sure are getting powerful... Ranma's dodging skills are getting a workout here.

MR. HAT:   No wait a sec... the ground is shaking.

JUSTICAR:   A geyser of water has just exploded from the middle of the arena.

MR. HAT:   More freaking water!?

JUSTICAR:   Its a hot spring. Ranma's a guy again!

MR. HAT:   Ranma is using the distraction to close in on Snake Eyes.

JUSTICAR:   Snake Eyes is out of ammo...

MR. HAT:   At a bad time...



[ Pic ] [ Pic ]

'Nuff Said!


Ranma: 607

Ryu: 402

Snake Eyes: 457


MR. HAT:   Well that pretty much ends Snake Eyes hopes of victory.

JUSTICAR:   They'll be collecting bits of him for awhile.

MR. HAT:   Ranma gets the gold. Snake Eyes (Post Homonously) gets the silver. Ryu collects the broze.

JUSTICAR:   For Mr.Hat, Sailor Moon and myself, signing off here at the Khazan Martial Mayhem Tourney... goodnight.

Resources for this week's big fight came from: (Ranma) Bradster's Ranma Corner (Ryu) Chrom Anime Descriptor (Snake Eyes) Yo Joe dot Com


Snake Eyes (TM) is the property (c) of (Hasbro? Marvel? I don't know...)

Ryu (TM) is the property (c) of Capcom

Ranma (TM) is the property (c) of (? I don't know)

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles