Spaceman Spiff: He's the one that Kirk and Picard look up to.
He's the self proclaimed explorer of the universe, but he usually ends
up ready to be dipped into a pool of bubbling goo, or some other such
torture at the hands of the Zorgs, Tentaclites, or other alien race. He
flies solo, but nobody said he does it well. Just well enough to dodge
all but one lucky shot from an enemy ship. One of Calvin's many
Stupendous Man: Knower of right from wrong, defender of those
who don't want to get a bath just yet, and defeater of babysitters
everywhere. Stupendous man smashes from closets everywhere upstairs
after donning his cape and cowl. Yet another alternative personality of
the imaginative Calvin.
There comes a time in a boy's life when he needs to learn who's
better. Heck, that's what CBUB is about, right? Calvin is not what you'd
call a normal boy, with a much greater intellect than what you'd
normally find in a six year old boy. He's invented the Transmogrifier,
the Duplicator, and has amazingly learned to talk to a stuffed tiger.
Through the magic of the Duplicator and the Transmogrifier, we've
managed to make two Calvin clones and Transmogrify them into these two
distinctive personalities. It's Calivinball time. The rules? There ARE
Join us now in a battle we like to call...
Not quite Calvinball, is it?
THE SPORTS BOX
I've got my money on Spiff, Matthew. He's got the tech, he's got the
strategy, and almost more importantly, he's been around a bit longer
than Stupie has. Stupendous Man doesn't stand a snowball's chance.
You can think that all day long, Preston, but Stupendous Man's been
avoiding baths FAR longer than Spiff has. He's a SUPERHERO, for crying
out loud. He's got a cape and stuff, man! It's all about the cape. 'Nuff
Preston: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to
this long-time running fight. Sorry we didn't end it sooner, but these two just
wouldn't stop going.
Matthew: That's right,
Preston. Like the energizer bunny, or a six year old kid. Chock full of energy.
Preston: On the one hand, we have the personality
of a six year old kid who thinks he's a space explorer. On the other, we have
the personality of a kid who thinks he's a superhero.
Matthew: Ain't that the truth. We couldn't
think of a better way for these two to duke it out than a rousing match of
Calvinball, where the only rule is that you can't play it the same way twice.
Preston: They are a bit young to fight to the
death, aren't they?
Matthew: That they are,
Preston. That they are. Well, the field looks pretty much set up, let's see what
our fans have to say about the fight.
Test Subject #41 writes:
Wow what a bout Spiff Vs stupendous man in a Calvinball match well I think I’ll have to break this one down.
Calvinball is a game always changing and can never be the same twice, which is the only rule. With zones, flags, balls and song it is very complicated and only gets more complicated as it goes. Spaceman spiff scientist mathematical mind (witch he must have to fly such a top off the line ship) well give him the edge when it comes to the complexity of the game. 0-Stupendous 1-Spiff
Calvinball is also a game in witch rules can be altered or even changed in the middle of game play as long as it corresponds with the pervious rules. Rule changing is an art that they well both achieve greatness at but spiffs intellect might score him naughtier point here. 0-Stupendous 2-Spiff
Calvinball is also a physical game in witch talking and other rough stuff might take place with Stupendous man being a super hero it is obvious that he would have the upper hand in hand to hand combat. 1-Stupendous 2-Spiff
Calvinball is also a very tiring and I’de have to say the superhero would also have the upper hand in endurance. 2-Stupendous 2-Spiff tie game
Calvinball is also a very frustrating game and Calvins alter egos well most likely (if anything like Calvin) be quick to frustrate leading this game into a simple one on one battle with in min’s. So in a one on one battle who would win? Would it be the quick draw blasting shooting captain or the courageous stupendous man? It’s really hard to say so I just voted for the one I like yeah Stupendous man………Although my favourite Calvin and Hobbes was the one where Calvin soaks every one while pretending to be the spaceman known as Spiff. Let me think I know when it comes to a close battle like this luck may play a huge part of it so who ever is luckier scores a point. Spiff=heads Stupendous Man= tails . Heads. 2-Stupendous 3-Spiff. And there you have it folks Spiff wins it in overtime and takes the title of Calvinball Champs. (wow that was more exiting then the Stanley cup finals in game 7, mostly because new jersey is a cheap trap crap team)
Deep Sea Dolphin writes:
Calvin in his Spiff persona vs. Calvin in his Stupendous Man persona huh? This is going to be one scary fight. Especially for poor Hobbes who we all know is going to be caught up in it against his will.
Anyways let us compare the stats on the two personas.
Strength-Stupendous Man can beat up aliens. Spiff can run from them. Advantage Spiff.
Speed-Stupendous can fly around the world in a second. Spiff can fly around the galaxy. Advantage Stupendous.
Technology-Stupendous has a cape. That gets caught in things. Spiff has lasers and a spaceship. Advantage Spiff.
Combat expertise-Stupdendous Man runs from space aliens. Stupendous Man fights the likes of Mom Lady and some crazy girl.
So we have a tie...EXCEPT that in reality Calvin has none of these powers or technology making them all irrelavent! So it comes down to the ultimate question, which one is Calvin more likely to survive? Well as Spiff he'll run from the bully. As Stupendous Man he'll fight the bully and be beat into a bloody pulp. So Spiff wins by being smart enough to know when to run away.
Deh VS writes:
Spaceman Spiff has this in the BAG. First off: Everyone knows who Stupendous Man is. Everyone. Only Calvin knows about Spiff. Second, as Calvin put it, all of Stupendous Man's victories are merely "mortal wins." Spiff has been marooned on countless planets, broken into rooms full of aliens and unleashed hot, hot laser on them, and, uh, been marooned. Stupendous Man dropped a large big giant snowball on Suzie from a tree. Infact, that's his only real victory. Hmph.
Well, Stupendous Man should have this this one in the bag and I'll tell you why! It all boils down to simple psychoanalysis:
Spaceman Spiff is a figment of Calvin's imagination while Stupendous Man is real! If you examine the comics you will see that Spiff's adventures only ever take place in Calvin's head; the giant alien trying to torture him with the acid bath is his mum, the sleeping alien planet he is going to destroy is his dad. Spiff represents Calvin's subconscious desire to explore and quest. He doesn't even have a real costume! Stupendous Man, however, is a thinking, breathing, real life superhero, (with an actual costume), who has has many victories over the evil Babysitting Girl and evil Mom Lady. In addition Stupendous Man has even turned back time on a Sunday evening, giving Calvin an entire third day of his weekend to get his homework done! Has Spiff done this? I think not! Also Stupendous Man represents Calvin's subconscious hero complex. His desire to do good and save the world, while Spiff is continuously captured and forced into eating strange alien food. By this rationale Stupendous Man should win this hands down. By the way, good to see the site up and running again after the hiatus, and goodbye Serge, sterling work Sir, sterling work
Dark Queen writes:
So what are we voting on? Who can avoid taking a bath the longest? Last time I checked this was a battle to the death, not to escape the clutches of cleanliness! Just because someone dons a bath towel that doesn't mean that he can turn into Superman and fly from his bedroom window. (This comes from personal experience, mind you.) Besides, his mother usually catches him in the end anyways.
Now Spaceman Spiff.... well, he is good at trying to escape from eating nasty food.... until his mother catches him.
Erm... why do I get the feeling that Calvin's Mom is going to break up this scuffle between the tiny titans of terror?
P.S. Nice to see that this place might actually be up and running agian! :)
Arahknid, The Almighty Spider! writes:
Ok, so Spiff does have the tech on his side, but when was the last time he used his ship to reverse the oribt of the Earth to turn Sunday into Saturday? Nevah!
It's the caped superhero all the way! Superman only wishes he had it this good.
Michael Moon writes:
Spaceman Spiff has impressive technology, but it never WORKS. Stupendous man's powers don't work either, but he DOES have the power to climb out windows. The only was Spiff can win is if Calvin's mom takes away the mask and cape. Since Calvin's mom can't walk in when there is more than one Calvin in sight at the moment, the match will be a draw anyway in that case.
Spiff readies his blaster, but Stupendous Man is immune to it's effects! Spiff tries to run, but his ship crashes, leaving his stranded in planet Time Out of the Punishment system.
The Catwoman writes:
Stupendous Man all the way. Has Spaceman Spiff ever faced down Roselyn? Has Spiff ever gone up against Mrs. Wormwood? I rest my case.
spiff doesn't stand a chance. SPND-MAN is a SUPERHERO, he's gotta win. He fought off his god-awful babysitter how many times? Spiff's got nothin' Spiff always ends up getting jacked by aliens and stuff and never wins. SPND-MAN will rule him all over the place, Spiff's gunna bite the dust.... HARD
Firstly, thanks for using my suggestion!
I have to say Spiff takes it just because of the fact that he has a higher win count. Spiff almost always escapes from the bad guys (with a few exceptions, such as when he tried to avoid the school bus) but Stupendous Man has almost never won. His mask and cape get revoked after all his adventures.
Spaceman Spiff, Interplanetary Explorer Extrordinaire wins.
Stupendous Man has NEVER won in the end. EVER. Meanwhile, Spiff has occasionally come across a stroke of luck or pulled out a victory, and when you throw in that it's a game of Calvinball, which someone who has been to many, many planets and seen many alien civilizations would easily adapt to, it's quite obvious that Spiff is going to win in a cakewalk.
Of course, in the end Calvin's Mom will defeat them both when all's said and done, but what're you going to do?
The Master Fighter of Anime writes:
*taps microphone* Is this thing on?...Okay,this is my second post,Callisto and Harley was my first.'Nuff said bout that,here's what I think on the fight..here's what I have to say to the fight. It's the same person! Because their clones won't they be cybernetically linked or something? It's pretty much a tie game from the beginning.They think the same,act the same,in fact the only thing differnt is the costumes.If one of them gets hurt the other gets hurt also,it's gonna come down to a lucky shot and the non-bathing superhero will probably get it,with a bit of smell power. Then again I suppose the spaceman and just evaporate him with a ray gun,or will the superhero just absorb it or something.My guess and vote has to be on the Stupendous Man(superhero)and not Stiff(spaceman). and that's all folks.(Least for now)
He Who Can Not Be Named writes:
I think I have to go with STUPENDOUS MAN, after all, SPIFF may be good, but he's never gotten Calvin an A+ on a school test! Stupendous Man actually did this (admittedly it was a fluke). Plus SPIFF seems to get taken down alot by various aliens, were as STUPENDOUS MAN's only known weakness is the power of the AMAZON WARRIOR WOMAN (his baby sitter) who has the uncanny ability to drain his powers and render him impotent. SPIFF lacks this ability. With his STUPENDOUS STRENGTH, SPEED, FLIGHT and BRAIN, S-MAN has it.
The Dark Lord From Down Under.
Vexorg, Destroyer of Chickens writes:
Wow, awesome fight. I'm a longtime Calvin Lover so this is a hard match to call.
I like them both alot, and psychologically speaking they both serve almost the same function in Calvin's fantasy/reality: they empower him to do what is normally denied brilliant six-year-olds everywhere: DOING WHATEVER THE HECK THEY WANT!
I suppose the rationale for my vote rests mainly on the richness of the illustration in the Spaceman Spiff strips/pages and the engrossing stories about a lone adventurer agains a planet full of insectile moms with disgusting tentacloaf.
When it comes to calvinball, however, Stupendous Man might have an edge simply because he's closer to Calvin's prime personality and will grasp the rules or lack thereof immediately as though it were a supervillain's dastardly uninspired plot.
I predict that Stupendous Man will fly circles around Spiff until, in true pulp SF tradition, Spiff, though a mere brave mortal, realizes that the rules are his to shape and stops Stupes for violating Rule #84-XF-72-Q Subsection K Paragraph 3 lines 204-206: "No red capes are allowed during a match on a month's second tuesday while playing in a gravity well in an oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere and wearing pants." Then it's just a race to bravely get the calvinball into an invisible un-goal before Stupes can begin playing again in his Underwear of Justice or in L.E.O.
Plus, you gotta give props to a guy who bravely flies out to B.F.E(uropa) and bravely crashes just to bravely vaporize some Zorgons (a.k.a. unimaginative teachers). Bravely.
Connoisseur of Calvin writes:
Stupendous Man has already been guaranteed victory, and not simply because he is a better character, but because Spaceman Spiff has time and time again proven himself the most incompetent of all Calvin's machinations.
Observe: In every strip featuring Spiff, he has either just crash-landed on a strange planet or is already the prisoner of said planet's inhabitants. However, Stupendous Man is rarely thwarted and is always shown as a "bolt of crimson" that "streaks boldly across the skies," never taken prisoner, always battling on, no matter how impossible the odds may seem.
Now let us take a look at the artillery of these characters.
Spaceman Spiff: He carries a ray-gun of undisclosed power, but his ship has taken out enemy vessels before. That must count for something.
Stupendous Man: He is capable of flight and has superhuman strength and probably Superman-like speed. Dodging Spiff's firepower with the greatest of ease, Stupendous Man will quickly make his way to Spaceman Spiff; once within arm's reach, the Space Explorer is doomed.
Jedi Flying Squirrel writes:
Spaceman Spiff will win. Why because he has weapons my young Padwans. all Mr Stupendous has is that silly cape and what pray tell can you do with a cape tell me. Wait a second I wear a cape sometimes. Silly squirrel I am huh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh. I guess I just like Spaceman Spiff. I wonder if his ship has Hyperdrive?
This is not a question of who would win...but whose stris make for the funnier Clavin and Hobbes comic. And that answer is simple. Spiff blasting around to whereever the hel is okay, but Stupendous Man's battles against evil mum, babysitter of doom and crazy dad have me laughing real hard.
Spiff is smarter and more cunning. He'll have Stupendous Man reading poetry whilst dumping a bucket of ice cold water on his head in no time flat.
Spiff has an armored suit, death ray (set to "deep fat fry," and a little red flying saucer that is always destroyed by zorgs or yukbarfs or something, but somehow gets repaired. (I'd hate to see his bills from the mechanic.) Stupendous Man has a red towel that always gets taken away by his mom. Hmmmm... Gotta go with Spiff.
Preston: Alright, the spaceman and the
superhero are coming out of the Transmogrifier now...
They don't look too friendly toward each other. This really could get ugly.
Preston: I tend to agree with you, Matthew.
Matthew: They're running toward the
Calvinball, with Stupendous Man in the lead. Oh, he's got ahold of it now, and I
don't think he's really playing.
don't think you're allowed to peg the opponent in the head with the ball. Let's
go to our expert on Calvinball for a ruling on that one. Hobbes?
Hobbes: This has to be the easiest job ever.
Interpreting the rules of Calvinball. There ARE no rules.
Preston, why did you even ask him that? You KNEW there were no rules.
Preston: We paid him for the cameo, we get our
Matthew: Yeah, well while he's
appearing, Spiff shot Stupendous Man in the leg, and has taken the ball to the
Preston: No-Song Zone?
Matthew: Yeah, where you don't have to sing the "I'm Very
Sorry" song for taking the ball, much less shooting somebody in the leg.
Preston: Apparently, it's not the no-fighting
zone, 'cause Stupendous Man just spear-tackled Spiff.
Matthew: I can't see a thing in that big
cartoon-like cloud of dust.
could go on for a while.
Matthew: It could,
but let's turn on the oscillating fans to see what REALLY goes on in those
clouds. Mitchell, fans please.
Preston: There we go, the dust is blowing away
and....are they....they ARE! They're playing CHESS.
It's less damaging than going to blows, I guess. Oh, they see they've been
noticed. Their cover is blown and they're really going to blows this time.
Preston: And it looks like Stupendous Man has the upper
hand, what with his superior strength and agility.
Yes, I think this could be the end of the game...with somebody going home to
Preston: Spiff has wiggled his way out of the
fight and is running with the ball. Where'd he get it?
Who cares, this just means the round's not over yet.
Preston: That's right, Matthew. This also
means we could have a clear winner.
Matthew: Boy, look at those little legs pump.
How fast would you say he's going?
Preston: Pretty fast.
THE FINAL VOTE
Spaceman Spiff: 514
Stupendous Man: 428
THE WRAP UP
Preston: Well, I think that means the game is
Matthew: What do you mean?
Preston: Spiff just declared the "No-Song Zone" to
be the "Win Zone," and since there are no real rules, he can get away with it.
Matthew: What a cheap way to win. It stands, though. Thanks
for joining us, citizens, and until next time, I'm Matt and this is Preston
[The Comic Book Universe Battles]
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