Presenting a Fight Contract Battle with your Guest Hosts RobF and FireFish:
D A R K G O D S
After centuries of silent rivalry, the two
contenders for the title of "Living Embodiment of Evil," Apocalypse and
Darkseid have decided to duke it out to see who wins this prestigious title.
The City of Khazan's unique position at the nexus of all possibilities is been used by the tyrants to build-up their forces of war.
From Khazan the conquerors find they can summon and utilize the mutants, machines, aliens and armies that have been theirs to command in the past. In the effort to destroy each other, no minions will be left in reserve, no dirty trick will be left unplayed.
This war will not end until one deity laughs a booming laugh over the humiliated corpse of the other...
THE SPORTS BOX
FIREFISH: Live from Khazan Battlefield this
ROBF: And I'm RobF. This has been quite a
fight so far, folks, and it's only going to get better! Both sides have
suffered such heavy casualties that I'm sure that if our main contenders
weren't such evil bastards that they would surely call this off!
FISH: That's right, Rob, and speaking of the
Devils, neither of them has struck a single blow yet! Apocalypse is still
in his pyramid, and Darkseid is cruising around in his flagship, the
ROB: Apocalypse seems to be faring the best,
but that could change at any moment.
FISH: I don't know, Darkseid is used to
winning, and I think he's going to break under the pressure. But before we
get to that, here're some opinions from our viewers at home:
Favorite letter of the Week
Sonic Hunter writes:
After Apocalypse is done with Darkseid he will be full of so many holes that when the wind blows Darkseid's @$$ will be tootin' out " Dixie".
Ummmmm, thank you for sharing that. Interesting picture, though.
'Lord' Rev. Dr. Paul Soth writes:
Darkseid is the clear cut winner. He's one of the most powerful beings in the DCU, his forces are legion, and his Omega Effect can take on ANYTHING. Hell, it even hit Thor in that Marvel vs. DC crossover a few years back. Also, Apocalypse has spent 5,000 years attempting to take over the Earth, while Darkseid has ruled Apokolips for God knows how long. En Sabah Nur would be a minor nuisance to the Lord of Apokolips. Apocalypse seeks power, Darkseid IS power. One blast from the Omega Effect, and Apocalypse is no more.
The Sandman writes:
I agree with RobF, Darkseid will kick ass with the greatest of ease. Superman hasn't defeated him yet. Darkseid has a whole planet on his side and not only defeated Superman, but the Cyborg Superman without even moving a muscle. Darkseid will kick Apocalypse's ass from here to next century.
The Genius Formerly (and Still) Known as Eddie writes:
Irony my foot! Darkseid RULES Apokolips = Apocalypse! What are you gonna do: sue Darkseid 'cuz he can't spell? Sure, go ahead. Just try it.
And by the way, Darkseid HAS tangled with the X-Men, and he KNEW how to screw with their minds... he teamed up with Dark Phoenix, aka the X-Man Formerly Known as Jean Grey, Cyclops' wife! Now THAT's one sure-fire way to usher in a sneak preview of all-out Armageddon. Just point me in the direction of the nearest Boom Tube before they go at it, aright?????
Oh, come on! We've got the Lord of Apokolips, referred to as "the god the devil prays to", with an entire planet at his disposal, the most powerful attack in any universe (omega beams), and who has only ever been even scratched by Doomsday (yes, DOOMSDAY!!!). On the other hand, you've got someone who can't stand up to the @#[email protected]# X-Men and who's even gotten his ass kicked by losers like Archangel! This would only last a second; Darkseid would use his Omega Beams on full power (Apocalypse's "laser shield" won't help; these aren't lasers!) and Apocalypse wouldn't just die, he'd cease to have ever existed! You'd be left wondering why you never came up with an opponent for Darkseid this week...
Dark Jedi writes:
There can be only one true choice. Apocalypse. He has lived for thousands of years, he has destroyed thousands of men. He is ETERNAL. Cable and the X-men could not stop him, only one man has ever defeated him. He has lived through the centuries, he has conquered time itself. He is a shape shifter. He can change his own mass. His four Horsemen are indestructible. Holocaust is unbeatable! Apocalypse will prevail!
Quick look back. Darksied has conquered a planet and a significant amount of area around it. apocalypse has too. Darkseid most powerful enemy superman apocalypse has the x-men. Darkseid son Orion a major disappointment, apocalypse son holocaust a living embodiment of pure evil. seams pretty even to me. but I will go with Darkseid because anyone that can give superman problems has to be pretty tough.
First off, we're not even dealing with the equals between DC and Marvel. Darkseid = Thanos. Besides that, Darkseid will out think Apocalypse before the fight even starts. He'll only step in to fight him after all his minions have failed. Plus, I bet he'll make up some new weapon that works great against mutants... ;)
Mr. Silverback writes:
Darkseid is a galactic villain. Apocalypse is a single-planet villain. Therefore, this match is equivalent to the Unabomber vs. A 10 year-old with an M-80. Not to take anything away from Apocalypse or the X-Men, but the scale of the DC universe is just bigger. I'd sure like to see the Silver Surfer take Darkseid on...hmmmmm.
XXUTAK The Unconquerable writes:
There is NO WAY Apocalypse would stand a chance against Darkseid's forces. Even without his help, they actually KILLED DR. FATE (Dr. Fate #12). The big A's weak metamorphosis powers MIGHT get him through the first wave of parademons... maybe. With everyone in Apokolips fighting him, he'd be toast for sure.
Sailor Xena writes:
On paper this might look close; but fights aren't won on paper. Apoc (as his friend call him) is the oldest, smartest, strongest toughest, most [email protected]$$ mutant in Marvel. He can take on whole X-teams by himself. Now add in the Dark Riders and all his cronies from AoA(which did include power houses like Cyclops and the Hulk) and we're talking UNSTOPABLE. Besides, wasn't Darkseid defeated by his own son?
Just one pedantic thing to say...Cyclops' blast are nowhere near being the most powerful in the marvel universe. His brother (Havok) alone has a much more powerful energy blast. Oh yeah...and I gotta say, Apocalypse wins this one.
I don't have much to say on this battle. I am voting for Darkseid, not out of any insightful commentary, but simply the voices in my head say so. They tell me lots of things, many many things.... Go... get out... leave ME ALONE... STOP THE VOICES...
Tevor the Third writes:
Tuff call... Some guy who sounds like he came from a rotten apple, or the Unstoppable APOCALYPSE!!! Forget Darkseid's so called 'army', Apocalypses has his own gang that will beat the crap out of Darkseid's boys, while Apocalypse defeats Darkseid. Maybe Apocalypse will let him live he might help Apocalypse in his own goals. In the end, ALL HAIL THE APOCALYPSE OR SUFFER!!!
Cyclops' optic blasts are hardly the most powerful beam in the Marvel Universe, even though they are pretty potent. They're no match for the Omega Force in any event, so let's compare on a more realistic scale.
Sooner or later this fight is going to come down to the big boys themselves. If Apocalypse reveals any kind of weakness AT ALL, then the Omega Force can instantly destroy him. Apocalypse is overconfident: that's a weakness, so he'll die.
Excuse me? EXCUSE ME? Apocalypse ((r)) against that pretense Darkseid ((r)) ? Apocalypse will win, let there be no doubt about that. Not even the entire X-men ((r)) teams can take him out, in fact they can hardly beat the Dark Riders. Whilst the Dark Riders and the Age-of-Apocalypse-warriors take out those losers that follow Darkseid, Apocalypse can amuse himself with watching Darkseid giving his best shot. Apocalypse's followers will beat the living hell out of those losers that follow Darkseid. All those robots are no match for even ONE of Apocalypse's followers, so the evil lord himself can concentrate on Darkseid. Then, as the 'fight' is boring him, Apocalypse will simply crush him. The poor Darkseid doesn't stand a chance: okay he's one of Supernerd's best enemies but that's no credit - everyone KNOWS Marvel ((r)) heroes are better than DC's ((r)) 'heroes', so the same must be true for villains. I rest my case.
The Match Maker writes:
Now don't get me wrong, this will be a great battle. These two just beg to get into a slugfest with one another. But in the end it will all come down to the Omega Effect. Come on, only one being has EVER stood up to the full wrath of the Omega Effect, and that was Doomsday. But Doomsday is the ubervillain, he is near impossible to beat. He has come back from the end of time for crying out loud!! If Wizard magazine thinks Thanos would be wasted by Darkseid's "eye-beams" I don't see Apocalypse doing any better. And comparing Cyclops's eye beams to Darkseid's Omega Effect is like comparing A soldering iron to Superman's heat vision. They aren't in the same class. But, much like pro wrestling, I would pay to watch this one on pay-per-view. Even if I do know how it's going to end. (Which makes it even MORE like pro wrestling!!!)
The Bunyip writes:
The victory is determined by Cartoon Appearances:
Darkseid: Gets his butt kicked repeatedly by Super Powers team. Has eye beams, a half-rate planet a teleport device and some really useless sidekicks. Apocalypse: still undefeated on the X-men Cartoons. Takes on all comers single handedly, and manages always to win, even if it's by cheating with a really bad script. Has whatever the #[email protected]#$ he wants to have!
Winner - Apocalypse (who immediately destroys the planet with the badly spelled name)
at least, he wins as long as he manages to avoid fighting an opponent who could beat him, which all comic book characters somehow manage to do. How is it that Batman manages to seldom fight REALLY powerful villains, like Darkseid, while all he REALLY tough villains automatically challenge heroes like Supes who can beat them? Villains are dumb!
Amen, Bunyip. Amen
Ok, I have a comment, but first: Cyclops has the strongest laser in the Marvel Universe? What are you guys smoking?
Anyway, Darkseid's parademons are capable of beating down a Herald of Galactus, and they have. When the X-men tried a similar feat, he laughed in their faces. The Dark Riders go down in under a minute.
And Darkseid's Omega beams would kill Apocalypse with absolutely no trouble. If Magneto can beat the guy, Omega Beams will do the trick.
And as Darkseid gloats over his body, a sudden burst of light flashes out behind him. Darkseid's body falls to reveal the smiling form of Thanos, the true king of evil, behind him.
I don't know, but I think it was purple. Or maybe just the smoke was purple. Heck, everything was purple!
There is no way that somebody just compared Cyclops' optic blast to Darkseid's Omega beams. Cyclops' blasts can't do squat to people like the Hulk (it just pushed the Hulk back), so there's no way his optic blast is the most powerful blast in the Marvel Universe. Gladiator's blasts have burnt holes in the Hulk. His are definitely more powerful. Darkseid's beams can burn Superman's skin even when he's not aiming them at Supes. Now *that's* powerful. Only two people have ever survived Darkseid's omega beams at full power, and those are Doomsday ,because he can't die, and Galactus, because he's, well, Galactus.
Also, think about something. Apocalypse has been taken out by wimps like Stryfe before. Superman once said that he's never seen Darkseid so much as *scratched* before. Not to mention Darkseid has an entire planet full of Dark Gods at his command, and an army of thousands (millions?) of Parademons. And going by the Darkseid/Galactus crossover, the Parademons can give the Silver Surfer trouble, and they're the grunts of Darkseid's army. Darkseid definitely wins, easily.
Darkseid has a planet full of troops. He has *several* planet-equivalents full of troops. And one Para-Demon can go through an entire US Marine Corps fire team... toss in *millions* of Para-Demons, and you get the idea.
The standard-issue infantry weapon of Darkseid's legions can make Superman feel pain. I say again my last -- MAKE **SUPERMAN** FEEL PAIN. Are you people listening here? Do you truly expect Apocalypse's puny troops to survive a flying horde of millions of Para-Demons, each one of which is carrying a piece of field artillery that can raise bruises on a Kryptonian?
Even on the dark alternate Earth where the Age Of Apocalypse occurred, Apocalypse did not have too much one you got past his several hundred mutants. I mean, what's left -- the Madri? Pardon me while I laugh hysterically at the thought of the Madri becoming Para-Demon Chow. And as far as the rest of Apocalypse's mutant servants go... read on.
Ah yes, and that brings us to Darkseid's super-powered troops... and I will admit that Granny Goodness and the Female Furies do not have the most impressive track record in the universe.
But again, people fail to read the fine print. If Apocalypse can bring his troops across time from the Age of Apocalypse, then Darkseid can bring in his troops from the 30th century... remember that old Legion of Super-Heroes story?
Yup, that's right -- Darkseid is bringing in his twisted Orion clone (several dozen dead mutants right there), the twisted Kalibak clone (again, mass carnage), and his twisted *Superman clone*.
That Super man clone around should go through half of Apocalypse's Alpha-class mutants without breaking a sweat. And the Omega Beams are going through the other half.
Oh yes, and at last count Darkseid had two small yellow cans full of Anti-Life Equation, too... got an answer to that, Apocalypse old boy? I thought not.
This battle will probably end up like RDF vs. Decepticons -- due to the triumph of style over substance, the voting will go the other way and the truly more powerful contestant would have been lost.
But I leave you with this one parting thought... which comic book company based whose character conception on the other one? Which came first, Apokolips or Apocalypse?
The might of Darkseid should crush this puny pretender like a flea. And in any *real* fight, it will. (darn votes)
ROB: Some good opinions, there. And for the
record, I WAS WRONG ABOUT CYCLOPS! GIVE ME A BREAK!!!
FISH: Ooookaaay... Darksied's son Kalibak
has been going at it with the grey Hulk for almost a day now, and neither of
them seems to be tiring.
ROB: The Dark Riders are high above the
battlefield, being swarmed by para-demons. Death throws off a volley of
feathers at a new batch, DIRECT HIT! But now they're on his back... War
lifts them off and throws them at their pals...
FISH: Hulk gets knocked back, dazed...
Kalibak charges... Hulk picks up a rock and breaks it over Kalibak's
head... he doesn't flinch! He uses the opening to land a punch right to Hulk's gut!
He's bent over in pain, but it just makes him angry...
ROB: Famine uses her hunger beams in a wide
arc... OH MY GOD! THE HORROR! The parademons are going berserk!
Cannibalizing each other! The Riders try to flee... TOO SLOW... They're
ripped to shreds! Death seems to have made it...
FISH: Kalibak grabs Hulk by the head...he's
spinning him around... and he's outta here! Hulk is flying through the air
like Juggernaut did in the Hulk v. Doomsday match...
ROB: Hulk slams into Death! Death had his
wings unfolded! the force of the impact rips them off! This is the goriest
match ever! Death lands on the ground... Hulk lands on top, crushing him!
Death's metal wings land on top, skewering them both!
FISH: Kalibak, relishing the victory,
doesn't notice Holocaust sneaking up behind him... Sneak attack! Holocaust lunges
Ohh! Kalibak turns and hits Holocaust right in the jaw! His suit's cracked!
ROB: Elsewhere, the tag-team of Diablo the
Alchemist and Absorbing Man have decimated the Female Furies! Only Mad
Harriet is left!
FISH: Holocaust recovers quickly...grabs
Kalibak's arm... he's draining the life out of him! Kalibak swings his fist
around and hits him again, sending Holocaust flying! Holocaust gets up, sends
fireballs Kalibak's way... Kalibak's singed, but otherwise unharmed! OH!
Kalibak hits Holocaust right in the head, splitting his suit down the
ROB: Diablo's conjuring something... Harriet
takes a chance and leaps forward...gouges out Diablo's throat! The
unfinished item looks like... she throws it at AB... he catches it... it was a
piece of glass! Too late! He absorbs it, and turns into glass! Harriet takes
the opportunity and lunges, shattering him into a million pieces! She's
badly cut, and the mad Parademons descend on her...
FISH: Holocaust is losing energy fast! He
throws himself onto Kalibak, immersing him in flames! Both burn out!
ROB: Their fathers aren't too pleased with
this! Darkseid's Destroyer is moving across the battlefield, zapping anyone
who Darkseid doesn't recognize!
FISH: What's that sound?
ROB: Apocalypse just exploded from the
pyramid! He's bigger than Godzilla, and really pissed off! Darkseid's in
FISH: The parademons are going after this
giant source of meat... they're coating him like ants, but they're not even
slowing him down! Oooh! He just let loose with a blast of energy, blowing
them all to Kingdom Come!
ROB: The Destroyer is hitting him with all
it's got, but to no avail! What's Darkseid doing now? the ship's speeding
FISH: He's trying to ram Apocalypse!
Apocalypse catches the ship... it's going on maximum burn... burn was right!
he just burnt out the engines! Apocalypse grabs it on each end... and breaks
it in half! He's shaking out the crew...but who's that on the edge?
ROB: It looks like Darkseid's scientist
Desaad! Darkseid is standing over him, miraculously retaining his
balance... could he actually be going to help Desaad? could the Master of
all Evil be going soft?
FISH: I don't think so, Rob, he just
stepped on his hands! Desaad falls, but never hits the ground! The
remaining parademons scoop him up and rip him to shreds!
ROB: You know, Fish, this is starting to
make me sick to my stomach! Darkseid jumps to the ground and lands on his
FISH: The two villains are staring each
other down...or Darkseid is staring Apocalypse up... oh, never mind... The
tension is building, who will make the first move?
ROB: Darkseid breaks the tension with a
blast from his Omega Beams... Apocalypse stumbles back, but is unharmed!
He's just too big!
Apocalypse: Hah, hah, hah! Insignificant worm! Did you really think you
could succeed where so many others have failed? I shall crush you like the
insect that you are!
Darkseid: Your pride is greater than your power, Apocalypse. You shall fail
in your vain attempts to destroy me.
FISH: Apocalypse doesn't like that too much,
he's raising up his foot... he's gonna crush Darkseid!
ROB: What the Hell? Darkseid's just standing
there! MOVE! I have money on this one!
FISH: Interesting revelation, Rob. I think
you've lost that money... wait... Apocalypse hasn't put his foot all the way
down yet! What gives? apparently it isn't Darkseid! He's stopped
apocalypse's foot, and is pushing back!
ROB: Oh yea! Darkseid pushes apocalypse's
foot up, then throws it into the air, throwing Apocalypse off balance!
Apocalypse is teetering... and down he goes! He's shrinking back down to
FISH: Darkseid's stepping up to him, what's
he gonna do? His eyes are glowing... he's gonna blast him with the Omega Effect...
THE FINAL VOTE
THE WRAP UP
ROB: Huh? Wait a second... Blast who?
FISH: Uh... I don't know. Hey, why is Darkseid looking so smug?
You know, it's too bad we couldn't find somebody for Darkseid to have fought against this week.
Oh well, hope we do better next time. This is FireFish.
ROB: And I'm RobF. On behalf of the CBUB,
DISCLAIMER / NOTICE:
Apocalypse(TM) is the property (c) of Marvel Comics
Darkseid (TM) is the property (c) of DC Comics
This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.