The CBUB Character Database

ISSUE #142

Spiderman vs. Wolverine

ISSUE #127

Martial Mayhem - Round One!

ISSUE #161

G.I. Joe vs. S.H.I.E.L.D


Wolverine vs. Predator


Boba Fett vs. Batman


Taco Bell Chihuahua vs. Ren Hoek


Jawas vs. Ewoks


Parallax vs. Dark Phoenix


Keebler Elves vs. Krispy Elves

ISSUE #154

Xena vs. Buffy

ISSUE #168

Shazam vs. Black Bolt


Galactus vs. Unicron


Leisure Suit Larry vs. Austin Powers

ISSUE #158

Bond Girl Blowout

Twin Engines of Destruction!

En Garde!
Duke Nukem


Ash... The double-barreled, chain saw swingin' zombie slayer from "Evil Dead", "Evil Dead II" and "Army of Darkness".

Duke Nukem... The fully-loaded, bullet-spittin' alien squisher from "Duke Nukem 3-D".

They've got a good supply of starting ammo, a shotgun each and five minutes to blast as many monsters as possible. You decide who gets out alive with the most points in a contest we like to call...

Don't Slip In The Blood!

This weeks fight suggested by Michael J. Binkley


PAT:   Hello Ladies and Gentlemen! This is Pat Summers coming to you LIVE from Khazan arena! We are about to see five minutes of complete carnage as ASH and DUKE NUKEM slam shells and scary monsters in a contest of points!

JAY:  And Jay Peoples! In a few minutes we'll find out who's king of destruction and mayhem but first we would like to thanks Hades for supplying the lovely assortment of creatures that'll die horribly today.

PAT:   Well, the flood gates will be opening any moment, now... unleashing creatures from all sides of the Arena. Duke and Ash are back to back dead center. This is gonna be big! But first let's see what the viewers said about the match.


Scary Mary writes:

Duke is a candy-assed pansy. Ash is the man! Ash, as portrayed by Bruce Campbell, god of the square-jawed studs, kicks ass and takes no prisoners! Nukem is a cheap, flimsy imitation.

Hail the Bruce! Hail Ash!


JAY:  The gates all around are now opening and a host of unspeakable horror rushes out at ASH and DUKE and I think they're saying something... no, I was wrong they're just yawning with apparent boredom.

PAT:   A hideous, towering, bloodstained abomination from Hell rushes Duke Nukem! Duke blasts it! Slams shells... Blasts it again! SLAM- BLAST!, SLAM! BLAST!

JAY:  Several more come at them from all sides. Ash fires, he blows the head clear off one those demons. He throws his weapon over his shoulder pointing it behind and fires again striking another that was charging him from behind.

PAT:  Duke catches a glimmer about 10 yards off... An automatic Nail Gun power-up has appeared! He makes a run for this new weapon...

JAY:  Ash empties his gun and with no time to reload he's starting use it as a club... He's bashing heads left and right but the monsters keep coming...

PAT:  Duke sprints and slides... gaining the shiny new weapon!

JAY:  Ash is still clubbing away at the unspeakable horrors left and right...Ooopps, his rifle broke over one of the creatures heads.

PAT:  Blood and cartilage spray in a beautiful technicolor dream as Duke goes to town with the nail gun!

JAY:  Ash is running about trying to stay one step of the evil horde... wait he finds a weapon... it's a chain saw! In a half-crazed laughter he charges at them...

PAT:  Duke Nukem sprays nails from the nail gun into the body of some incredible, blobulous, pus-filled horror! Oh, God... The stench!

JAY:  Ash is just slicing them down with his chain saw and pieces of them are just a FLYING... the gore of it all!!

PAT:  Still the monsters emerge streaming from the gates... spewing from the Arena's lower catacombs like some sort of wretched bile from a sick teenager!

JAY:  Ooopps, Ash's chain saw seems to have caught itself inside one of the demon beast that he was slicing through... he can't free it no matter how hard he pulls and twists.

PAT:  Tough break for Ash, folks! Now lets turn to our own Sideline Commentator Frank Williams who has this special report...

Ah, what a bloodbath tonight! It is rare to see such carnage that is not caused by Callisto, eh? Anyway, this is Frank Williams and in this commentator's humble opinion, Duke has this one nailed. I mean, who the heck is Ash?? He's a nobody! Duke has the skill and the natural wit of an action hero. And he is not totally against the use of steroids! Duke will emerge victorious on this one, I predict! ...Back to you Pat!

PAT:  O.K, Thanks Frank. What do you have now, Jay?

JAY:  A new power-up weapon appears and Ash is eyeing it...

Mmmmm.... Mini-gun.

PAT:  Speaking of power-ups... Duke is racing like mad from a three-headed foaming dog beast! He's heading for a fresh box of ammo for his nail gun!

JAY:  All hell is breaking loose now... Ash opens up with the mini-gun! He's sparing nothing, not even the ammo. He's reducing several creatures in bloody mangled heaps!

PAT:  Duke gains the nail gun ammo... And not a moment too soon!! Freshly powered up, Duke whirls and spits nails at Dog-Thing! Bloody chunks of sick meat fly into the crowd!!!

JAY:  Ash is doing the Rambo yell now, both of these guys are loving it! It like waiting dueling meatgrinders in action.

PAT:  Oof! You ain't kidding, Jay! And now let's go to our own Jack Gibson... on the spot with this special report.

Thanks Pat! The stench is rampant down here and so is the carnage! I'm bathing in blood I tell you. The site of these two contestants going at it is awestriking. They're both cutting down demons and monsters... and I'll tell you this is anyone's contest! Hey, watch it buddy!!! I don't think that pus will come out with dry cleaning!! I think I'm going to be sick... Back to you Pat!

PAT:  Thanxs Jack. O.K... what do you have, now Jay?

JAY:  Not surprisingly Ash has run out of ammo for his mini-gun is he's running for his life. Wait... Another power-up weapon has appeared. Ash makes a flying leap for it... Yes, it a flamethrower!

PAT:  Duke sees a new weapon, too! Oooh... A Rocket Launcher!

JAY:  Looks like we're gonna have us a little barbecue, Pat.

PAT:  They've each retrieved the new weapons... The smell burnt monster flesh and sound of exploding grenades rocks the stadium!

JAY:  Pat, there's so many slagged carcasses out there, these two guy's are climbing over 'em! I have no idea who has the points here.

PAT:  And there's the time out whistle! This match is history! Let's see who killed the most monsters!

'Nuff Said!


FINAL Death Toll... er... VOTE:

ASH: 106



Special Thanxs to: King's Duke Nukem Page

Special Thanxs to: Exit 13 - The Evil Dead


Ash (TM) is the property of .. well I really don't know. I didn't see it on the webpages I visited.

Duke Nukem (TM) is the property of Apogee.

This webpage makes no claims and attempts no infringement... this is just for fun.

The Part of Pat written by Serge - Electric Ferret Studios

The Part of Jay written by Shawn - Callisto Tales

The part of Frank Williams by Robert - Callisto's Corner of Tartarus

The part of Jack Gibson by Kevin Bello

CBUB: The Comic Book Universe Battles